Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fairdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: totojane03
    ASL Info:    25- colorado springs
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 151/77/35
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 780
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 675



    Description:
       It is about losing my daughter being set up,
    and having people lie about me and not really haveing the chance to mother this child I gave birth to.There is alot more hurtfull things about it but it proble don't matter.She was although I will say taken from me at the hospletle before I could leave home, I had no reall chance to be a mom just give birth.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFairdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What is fair in life for crying out loud
    We all have strife,
    What is fair in life
    We people you love set you up to fail,
    And simile at the pleading you call,
    What is fair in life
    When you are a mother,
    Give birth, She is taken away at the hospetle,
    Before you can even have the chance,
    To hold her, and raise her,
    What is fair in life when no one gives you a
    chance and sooner or latter
    You find no truth to your marriage,
    What is fair in life when you are abanded,
    Left stranded,
    With so much fear,
    You can't shed any tears?
    What is fair in life?




    Submitted on 2006-02-25 14:56:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      thanks anyways sorry you dont like it but I know other writers that do. -totojane03-


    Vile Deception was complaining of your spelling, too,k on 2/25/2006. You keep saying, when you get around to it.... why not fix at least ONE and have it look right? It's not "purrr-fect" we're going for, it's an illusion of "educated" and not "stupid as a rock & doesn't give a [censored]".

    Guess I'm not the only one.

    Please, for the love of god, FIX your errors!
    | Posted on 2009-08-24 00:00:00 | by therealmojymo | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a very sad feeling poem, and you do understand that. However, some parts I just could not understand. The spelling was off in some places, which really detraacts from being able to lose yourself in the poem. Other than that, it was good.
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Vile Deception | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92832

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry