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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Budsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vintage Emotion
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 29/30/15
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 169
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 767



    Description:
       Inspired by seeing a white tree amidst winter trees leaning towards the highway on the way to the mall. I wish I had had my camera--it was really quite beautiful.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Budsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cloaked in the scent
    of lilting gasoline,
    framed by hot
    sizzling
    pavement.

    While
    long-fingered trees,
    an audience awakening,
    shudder in wintry awe
    (shooing the
    skeletal brambles)
    at humanity’s
    dominance.

    Nervously
    I attempted at being
    casual
    as I let the white petals
    fall to my sweatpants
    (shadows love me not).

    Braced against the
    drunken rumble
    of a super-sized doctrine,
    the white tree
    (the early-beauty bloomer)
    rocked
    musically
    toward the highway.

    The white buds
    like to pretend they are human
    by skipping the winter.




    Submitted on 2006-02-25 15:57:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I loved how you very intricatlely tangled concrete with nature in this poem. The tree you desribe seem to symbolize a beautful, but stained form of defiance.

    and did you mean to mention global warming? it seems that you did, because the unusually blossoms in the dead of winter, that usually happens from strange weather patterns


    you have an artist eye. very vivid desription. you used poetry as a piant brush, no mean feat if you ask me!
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by nikko | [ Reply to This ]
      There is such beauty in remembering images that burn into our retinas (for what seems like forever - I have lots of these types of images burnt into mine)... much like wanting to take a photo of it you've managed to capture it on paper (or a computer screen if you will).

    I think this read out wonderfully (and originally) but I didn't get the 'super-sized doctrine' part at all - it was almost comical (in a Mcdonald's super-sized combo kinda way) and totally threw me off from the rest of your poem... which seemed quite rhythmic and pure - maybe it's just me but it just doesn't fit... it sounds off.

    Your first strophe is a divine intro... as are the parts in parentheses... the phrase 'shadows love me not' puts me in mind of forget-me-nots and 'skeletal brambles' is an apt description of a stark winter scene. Your outro leaves lingering images in a vague sort of way...

    Yea, I enjoyed reading this... I thought I'd let you know.
    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]



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