Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Saga of the Master Sculptordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 1461
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSaga of the Master Sculptordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sculptured by a master of the finest art
    Fashioned with a loving gentle heart
    Her hair was spun from the softest star light
    And a kiss of sun to make it just right
    A silver velvet moon beam was the color of her eyes
    And in the daylight hours,you'd see a touch of blue skies
    Her lips were made from the most perfect red rose
    Then she was given a small delicate nose
    Her face was shaped into a tiny heart
    A signature of the great masters art
    He placed into this treasure a warm soul
    Filled with colors of a rainbow
    Then the master sculptor looked as far as he could see
    Said without doubt I'll call her Destiny
    Legend has it that's how she came to be
    This sister to Hope, Faith and Charity




    Submitted on 2006-02-25 20:52:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Another brilliant one Linda, I really like this. As usual your use of rhyme, rhythm and flow were very good. And your use of imagery was also very good.On the whole this was a very good write. These were my favourite lines

    Her hair was spun from the softest star light
    And a kiss of sun to make it just right

    Keep up the great work Linda and have a blessed and most wonderful day. Your friend Jason.

    But I must inquire who is Destiny and her three sisters?
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      How quaint. I enjoyed your description of Destiny's features and character. I can just see her heart-shaped face, silver hair with just a touch of gold, and her silvery eyes that shown a touch of blue in the daylight.. etc.

    Might need a touch up here there, for poetic form's sake.. but this was quite enjoyable.

    I hope (no pun intended) to see a poem on the other "sisters" soon.

    Nice work!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely beautiful
    I really like this one
    This write speaks of all the beauty created by a loving and peace Loving God
    I really enjoyed this
    I really liked how you referred to Heart twice
    To me the Heart is not just an instrument
    It is the center of our own personal relationship with God
    Absolutely Beautiful
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a beautiful jewel of a poem, Linda, as the others said, it was a work of art in itself. You included some wonderful imagery, my particular favourite being:

    "A silver velvet moon beam was the color of her eyes"

    You intertwined nature and this girl in such an wonderful way. What a heart-warming write. I will add this to my favourites!
    Don't lose this excellent strand!
    Best Wishes
    NM
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by Natalia Murray | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is just dripping with rich imagery, and its extremely cool;) I was flashing blue moon lit nights and tropical sounds.

    Your rhythm is a bit off here and there, but it doesn't distract that much from your form.

    Always cool to tie in auditory, visual and written art forms, and you've picked a fantastic subject with which to explore the idea.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Todd
    | Posted on 2006-02-26 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      I would change nothing about it. This was a fine art in itself. I loved the details you gave the reader and the way you brought her to life. Just wonderful! I was beyond entranced by this. This had a sweet flow and the rhyme was very good. A masterpiece I would say. Brilliant job Linda!

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent poem, Linda, I simply love it.

    There are a couple of things I'd change from meter's point of view, but I'll only tell if you ask, it's very very good as it is.

    Too good,

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      simply beautiful! certainly a work of art. i love
    the personification of Destiny, and her three sisters.
    this has a gentle flow to it, the rhyme tumbling
    right off the tongue.

    wonderful work!

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-02-25 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    92871

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry