Description: This is an attempt at a Frank O'Hara type of poem ala Lunch Poems.
I want to know if this fits that style well & if the ideas seem to translate from my head and into the general heading of "I do this, I do that"
This is a bridge -------------------------------------------
Now this is a bridge I cannot cross :
an eddy of jellyfish smearing the beach with awful
glistening limbs. I walk through a dune of jelly cheeks and jelly arms
crushing jelly dreams under my big feet. Oh! I wish for thousands of clear blue waves and chase that DAMNED dog into eleventy-seven degree sand with ankles notched from the surf.
I play the game we always play :
a jelly of eddyfish, a jeddy of ellyfish
an eddy of jeddyfish
I find the glasses you lose in the surf & produce heroic hats to cover the bald spot I’m sure I never noticed until just now.
On the other side of the dunes there is a flat of land
covered with blue beach glass and fine pebbles. Bayberry shades the path and we walk home like cool tan lizards with pockets full of the little prizes that wash up on the shore.
I make drinks in the kitchen because we always have olives and just a half-glass of the gin with the mad scotsman on the lable.
The supermarket shelves are full of all the biscuit mixes
(but no booze!)
we could ever want (we never eat them even the onion-self-rising)
How can they live down here with no television and no internet
say all the bisquit-eaters in aisle 12
We smile and shake our heads about decent coffee and newspapers, but Miles Davis is on the radio and we say “So What”
Soon we will go to movies and cry at the funny parts
and shake our fists at : “our mothers want us to be barbers”
or “don’t take my picture”
God! we’re so unhappy to miss out on all that cool shit
alone and only watching the sunset
wondering what the beach will look like tomorrow
under the cloudless sky.
Ditto. I could have kept reading. You could have added anything and everything to this and still kept my attention. Great read...I can absolutely close my eyes and imagine myself walking the beach...can't wait to play "a jelly of eddyfish!" Only thing I would fix (and it's minor), is this:
"We smile and shake out heads..."...I think you meant "our," perhaps not??? Still, awesome write...
I wish I could just throw a Pulitzer prize at you because that poem totally kicked my ass and it has to be one of the best things I've read in my entire life. This is not sarcasm in the least, by the way. Anyways, what I like is the whole randomness with the beach and the play on words with the jellyfish and it has me thinkin' I should go crush some jellydreams myself but my feet might get stung to jellyhell. Anyhoo, where was I? Yeah, the whole thing just had this whole feeling of being young, adventurous and filled with liquor and fun to the brim. This person gives it a 5 million out of ten.
Submission Name: This is a bridge
