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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Why Do We Live Like Prisoners?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 240



    Description:
       I'm struggling to write lately, so bear with me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhy Do We Live Like Prisoners?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why do we live like prisoners?
    There's a whole world out there.
    I need some color
    instead of these white walls.
    I'd like to see if
    there's anything out there
    to match your blue eyes.




    Submitted on 2004-05-02 13:47:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the concept of the writing.. To find something to even compare to the beauty in your love's blue eyes. *sigh. That is so nice. Yes, it is a big wide world. I think we remain prisoner's because we lack enough money to live as we really would like. But, the rich are also enprisoned in their own traps. I would never want to be rich and famous. Imagine not even being able to walk down the street or go to a store. That would be a constant gulag life.
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the title....and a good question..Why do we live like prisoners when there is so much of life to see....? I think this could have been longer more involved....Nice start...Desi...
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by Desi | [ Reply to This ]
      i can relate to wanting to see more than just the four walls, but how sometimes it's so hard to just get up and move out of the depression or the lethargy. i think you could add more to this. maybe to expound more on the colors you could see, 'cause i liked the ending with the blue eyes... keep it up!!
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      GOBALATA is funny. What really suck about your poem is that you didn't answer it, I've been looking for the answer to this poem for a long time. Does romantic companionship just plain make people lazy or what? Well, I'm going to China next week, but you can't come with me and my eyes are dark brown.
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting piece, and I feel like this after a convention or a particularly good weekend... its like i come crashing down and all the pretty colours are suddenly gone, and it seems very hard to find them again for a while.... nicely done, as per usual hon :)
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, you nidely boxed that one. What I'd like to know if there's a red ribbon around the blue box. A box has six sides, your poem has seven lines. I suggest you shorten or lengthen it (sly grin).
    | Posted on 2004-05-02 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]


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