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to dad

Author: suicidalacts72
ASL Info:    20/f/WI
Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 189 /150 /69
Words: 59
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1385
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 407


to dad

Paint me a pretty picture,
Paint it with my blood,
From open veins,
A messed up childhood.

Paint me a pretty picture,
I won't make a sound,
Cut deeper and deeper,
My worlds already upside down.

Paint me a pretty picture,
Cut me till I die,
But don't forget when it's over,
You bled me dry…

Submitted on 2006-02-27 13:57:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  hey .. a little confusing then .. but overall i love the words you used to dexribe your feeling in this writing..
peace and love!
and take care!
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
  I too, was a bit confused as to who was being cut.

In away the third stanza makes more sense in terms of bleeding you, needing or demanding far more than he gives.

Sad, but well done.

Good write!

| Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
  I got a little confused when you turned the cutting object from him to you, wondering if you meant to say it, then read the next line and clearly you did. One criticism from Elite's resident spelling and grammar nerd.
"My world's already upside down"
You forgot to hyphenate the contraction. If the contractions get too painful, don't be afraid to ask the doctor for some Demerol. I've been working in a hospital waaaay too long.

| Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by scienceyear | [ Reply to This ]
  very good, i liked the emotions you put into it, and the way you told your dad to cut you instead of what most people would say, is awesome, most people would tell the other to cut themselves. i loved it.
| Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by in_a_trap | [ Reply to This ]
  Very Good. It Makes Me Worry About A Lot Of Friends That R Dependant On Others
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by ollie_wicked | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked it. i didnt think it was confusing..just sad. Hopefully things will get better, at least u got a good poem out of it.
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a really good poem i can relate to it so much cause my dad is pretty [censored]ed up...I think i'm going to add this one to my favorites becasue I loved it so much...
| Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by lah | [ Reply to This ]

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