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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretty Tune Whistled by Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: losing_focus
    ASL Info:    19/ f/ Georgia
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 65/97/28
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 275
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 675



    Description:
       Anything you're willing to say, I'm willing to listen to.
    Rae


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretty Tune Whistled by Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The road is long and carefully overgrown.
    Controlled decay and broken cobblestones,
    lead the way to damnation with flowers
    lining the road with promises sworn.
    Trees, gnarled with time and contempt
    point the way, and you follow
    blindly into the face of your past
    with a vapid smile on your pretty face.
    Question the existance of the song
    you hear whistled by death
    a pretty tune, like a glass of wine
    they use to drink to your health.
    A bow drawn swiftly across
    a violin with only 1 string
    One hand clapping an endless rhythym
    as you dance to the beat and sing.




    Submitted on 2006-02-28 09:48:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW! what can I say? First, the imagery was AMAZING. I rarely read a poem where the words truly paint a picture, and that is EXACTLY what your words do. I like the style of the poem, its simple, yet elegant. I believe there is a good amount of symbolism behind this poem, and I'd love to hear exactly what it is about. I really enjoyed it, I hope to read more of your work soon! Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      this is good I like the first and last bits but I kinda got lost in the middle though thats probaly me not your poetry so good work and keep writing
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Animus Custodis | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the best of yours I've read so far, in my opinion. I love your style. It almost seems like somone going blithely torward thier ultimate destruction, or something to that effect, but I could be wrong. The flow is amazing here. It didn't feel like I was reading free verse. I don't know if it's the amount of syllabals or what, but the entire time I read through it, I never noticed it didn't rhyme. Amazing work. Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      Rae, when i think that i've seen the best..you amaze me...i'm so glad we are friends and that we met...
    :)
    this peice is beautiful...i actually read it a couple of times...this gets an add to my favorites list.
    xoxox
    me
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by 2Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      ok now im completley sure the whole possesion theory of mine is in place (refer to comment on innocence's lost empire, by the way i meant first line not title in that one) ... "... carefully overgrown" , "..controlled decay" we r in a matrix, however just a little more eviler. in the matrix our hopes n dreams were untouched and basically worked out themselves, here they have been promised ".. sworn" THe whole poem gives me this sick feeling i get when i see those little monkey dolls with a wicked smile that constantly clang symbols, "as u dance to the beat and sing". Your poem is "carefully" dark. Really really good work. I like the way u think.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]



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