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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tash
    ASL Info:    18 Female
    Elite Ratio:    2.92 - 38/55/27
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 763
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 882



    Description:
       This is something that just came off the top of my head so just feel free to give me your thoughts


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fly free as a bird
    Just close your eyes you will see
    The memories of us gliding through the wind

    Your hands against my face
    Bring warm feelings through out my body
    Your words always seems to hit the right spot

    But still I choose to let you go
    You are the one Iíve been longing for
    And you bring me many smiles

    But I know youíre not good for me
    I bring the horizon of problems
    But you solve them so quickly like sun down

    Why do I feel like I canít live without you?
    When I know your trouble
    But still I try my hardest to keep you
    Even though I know youíre not going anywhere

    So with this I have to let you go
    Let you free youíre self from my pain
    And let me breathe that fresh clean air again




    Submitted on 2006-02-28 11:22:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You have a few mistakes but this is one touching piece. The feelings that you possess for this person are heart pounding. Keep up the great work. Work on your punctuation and typo's. I had had harsh critiques last month but I improved. You can do it Tash. All Eyes On You!

    Later,
    Sombra
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. I think that my favorite part was when you said "i bring the horizon of problem" Personnaly I thought that it had most of the emotion tangle up into it. I really don't have anything else to say except that I think that I'm going to check out some more of your work!!!
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]


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