[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Youdots

    Author: Tash
    ASL Info:    18 Female
    Elite Ratio:    2.92 - 38/55/27
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 788
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 882

       This is something that just came off the top of my head so just feel free to give me your thoughts

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Fly free as a bird
    Just close your eyes you will see
    The memories of us gliding through the wind

    Your hands against my face
    Bring warm feelings through out my body
    Your words always seems to hit the right spot

    But still I choose to let you go
    You are the one Iíve been longing for
    And you bring me many smiles

    But I know youíre not good for me
    I bring the horizon of problems
    But you solve them so quickly like sun down

    Why do I feel like I canít live without you?
    When I know your trouble
    But still I try my hardest to keep you
    Even though I know youíre not going anywhere

    So with this I have to let you go
    Let you free youíre self from my pain
    And let me breathe that fresh clean air again

    Submitted on 2006-02-28 11:22:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have a few mistakes but this is one touching piece. The feelings that you possess for this person are heart pounding. Keep up the great work. Work on your punctuation and typo's. I had had harsh critiques last month but I improved. You can do it Tash. All Eyes On You!

    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. I think that my favorite part was when you said "i bring the horizon of problem" Personnaly I thought that it had most of the emotion tangle up into it. I really don't have anything else to say except that I think that I'm going to check out some more of your work!!!
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    untitled written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Giving written by jjd




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]