Another exercise piece... It's in a voice developed I believe first by Emily Dickinson, i 'I Heard A Fly Buzz.' The premise is to develop two trains of though simultaneously; One is of great personal significance, the other completely insignificant.
There should be no overt display of emotional reaction (I feel the weight of my curse), but it should be underlying.
There is great use of dashes to give reflective pause, and key words are capitalized. Not eactly a fantastic exercise in grammar or punctuation, but very honest, rudimentary and raw.
Enjoy!
Home Depot (Revised) -------------------------------------------
I am ignorant of being Sterile –
While I price ten-penny nails
my wife is in adoration
of pink and blue boots.
Power tools put aside – unaffordable.
Ripping bites into pine, purposeful
knots should be kept minimal
and minded as a line is cut.
I have no experience being a Father,
no example stacked orderly before me.
Width by width and depth by depth,
lifted to pinch a Blueprint secure.
The smell of Construction,
sappy and steely – Diaparish.
She wants to try again
when I’ve recharged.
one thing. Home depot is like my favoritre store!!
This poem made me create this guy in my mind. He is standing at the power tools in home depot. he pick a tool up that cost 249.99. He then thinks about all the father things he will be doing when his wife has that baby.
Well, I think your hyphens should be dashes, but you did a good job at imitating Emily's quirks of punctuation (intense use of dashes and capitalization). In college, we learned that printed versions of her work miss that she used dashes of various lengths. I do think she'd capitalize I and the beginnings of lines though. I like your choice of setting and the unusual way that you made this personal. I enjoyed this, Amy
Submission Name: Home Depot (Revised)
