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Stars gone black

Author: Kaila Turley
ASL Info:    15/F
Elite Ratio:    2.93 - 52 /43 /18
Words: 217
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 887
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1247


its about a break up and recovering from it and realizing its not the end of the world.

Stars gone black

at one time i thought things were great,
then i guess i was hit with fate,
things could never go good for me,
i was just the person i didnt want to be,
i stayed lonley,
still having hope ,
long and hard and no matter how far.

i look back at me and him,
and all i can think is gosh life is dim,
at one time i held him so high,
i didnt ever think about the end ,
or when it would come.

two months later,
we cant stand eachother,
we used to smile and laugh,
now we could push the other off a cliff.

now i see that the stars went black,
when he broke my heart,
all i did was fall apart,
it wasnt good for me nor my self-esteem,
but now i can see,
the stars no matter how dark it may be,
and i understand that the ones you work for,
are the ones worth while.

and never tell youself ,
that you have it perfect,
you never know what tmr. has in store,
but always remember to keep the stars,
burning bright as the sunlight,
on a hot summer day,
there is always hope in everything,
in each and every way.

Submitted on 2006-02-28 17:16:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this was really cute...made alil sense...try to be more open with your feelings try to have it rhyme would be more interesting
| Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by dianne | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like the message you are portraying...but it seems unfinished. I don't know if you were going for a rhyme sceme or not. If you were try to stay consitance throughout the entire peice.
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by chilz | [ Reply to This ]
  it was really good, though it was hard to see if you were doing free verse or not. it feel like you could add just a little bit more to it so it'd feel just right.
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by WritingPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
  This was good Kaial the flow of the poem was a little sketchy in the middle, but in the other stanzas they were really good. The way some of the lines rtyhmed was really good i usually don't like the rtyhming poems but that fit really well with this poems. I really hope you find someone that can make you really happy *cough* Me *cough* well keep writing Kaila and I'll keep trying to help love ya lady
| Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]

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