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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: X-IL3dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The_Forsaken1
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 18/25/11
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 193
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588



    Description:
       Being hated for loving somone simply because of what you are. *the title is Exile*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsX-IL3dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart is Frozen yet,
    again meeting another ungreatful end,
    why would I fall into this?
    lies behind your every kiss.
    I've deffinatly been here before
    This somthing I know I can't ignore.
    My silent death in a box.
    Wrapped up in blighted joy.
    This gift I cant accept.
    My beautiful hommicide left unattened.
    All at once it's closing in.
    No suprise,
    I never win.
    Lonley is somthing Im used to,
    but will always feel used by.
    Exile is my sentance,
    Love is my crime.




    Submitted on 2006-02-28 18:12:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Not bad at all, I like your "crime and punishment" theme in this, it works well.

    Only a couple of mall things to pick on...the first line, did you mean it the way it is, or should it be:

    "My heart is Frozen,
    yet again meeting another ungreatful end,"

    and there's a lot of spelling errors. I suggest you use something like ms word, or a program that will point out your spelling errors for you.

    Only little things but they make a difference between a good idea and a great poem.

    Well done, you're on the right track

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]



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