Description: I'm not sure really how this piece came out I mean usually I have some kind of feeling on rather i like it or not or even it I feel its actually finished so I'm asking you my Elite poet friends to give me you input on this
thanks a lot adnil
The Blues and Grays -------------------------------------------
Into battles Sherman and Lee lead
From Gettysburg to the Shiloh valleys
Cannons fired in a deafening thunder
Renting a nation asunder
Brother against brother father against son
Bloody battles sieges were lost won
Yet the North and South had only just begun
To tear themselves apart with blood and guns
Raging on as each side gave their all
Bound and determined the other would fall
With saber and horse they charged into the fight
Blues and Grays clashing left and right
Some say Ole Glory had named her final price
For a war fought against a slaveries vice
Though victories had its bitter cost
So much was destroyed...forever lost
As a bullet took a president one night
While a nation was still griped in its blight
Yet never shall we forget the roars
Of the mighty Civil war
Yes, I would tend to agree with the previous comments.
I liked reading a poem about the American Civil war and I thought the title was imaginative.
The main criticism I would have, would be the flow. I think in places it was very good, but it did fall down in some parts, particulary at the start. For example in the 1st line I would've put "Into the battle went Sherman and Lee" and the 4th: "renting a nation completely asunder".
For lines 11 and 12, I'd say "With saber and horse they charged in to fight/Blues and grays clashing from left and from right".
So, in conclusion I think the content and the idea was good, but the structure needs some work. Sorry, hope that doesn't sound too critical, I did enjoy the poem!
This was very impressive, the concept and subject matter vastly different than the usual stuff I find on this site. In a way its relaxing to see a poem written about our history, just because you rarely see it happen.
I found the poem to be very well written, the constant rhyme scheme working very well, although I found the first rhyme to be a bit of a stretch, but it doesn't really distract from the piece as a whole.
This was such an original piece, and it made me want to continue to read more of your work.
Linda This is a really powerful write were you keep the memory of the Civil War alive in other peoples hearts This was a terrible war Probably the worst war ever and we should not forget this war for a minute My father has many civil war books laying around the house as he has a fascination with this war Thank You for spreading the message There are lessons to be learned from War God Bless Ron
And Linda I am sincerelly touched that you added me to your stalkers list It is nice to know someone enjoys my poetry enough to do such a thing God Bless Your Friend Ron
And also Danielle is doing ok she is such a fighter She wont let this illness bring her down Everytime she talks to me on the phone She always says to me Nonnie I see forever It Brings a tear to my eye God Bless Ron
I think you did a fine job on this Linda! Just a places with the flow, but overall this was very good and you should be proud of yourself for the work you put into this. I think this was a poem that showed both sides of the war and you described very well scences on the battlefield. Girl, you done good.