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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Things I'd Missdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lost Sheep
    ASL Info:    41 M Vancouver, WA
    Elite Ratio:    6.24 - 909/772/72
    Words: 301
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 334
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1942



    Description:
       For Chell


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThings I'd Missdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If my connection to this world ended tomorrow,
    If I was abducted by aliens or locked in a prison,
    became a refugee in a desert camp,
    banished to a heaven or hell
    forced to live a new life,
    I would miss a lot of things

    I’d miss chicken enchiladas
    Hamburger gravy, fried chicken

    I’d miss watching Mt St Helens erupt

    I’d miss line dancing

    I’d miss Abbott & Costello
    Old radio detective mysteries

    I’d miss the sound of our children’s laughter

    I’d miss camping next to the railroad tracks
    Waking at night to the sound of thundering locomotives

    I’d miss bedtime

    I’d miss windblown sleet on my face in January
    The sting of sweat in my eyes in the summer

    I’d miss B movies that no one knows about

    I’d miss the sound of water trickling
    from a lava cliff onto my head
    shivers as the icy water runs down my back

    I'd miss wrapping Christmas gifts at midnight

    I’d miss chilly mornings with frosty windows
    building fires in the fireplace

    I’d miss Antiques Road Show

    I’d miss the sun setting behind whale spouts,
    while the wind blows a chill into my bones.

    I’d miss waking in the middle of the night
    To feel someone crawling into bed

    I’d miss Elite Skills

    I'd miss waterfall spray,
    Ocean waves crashing on the rocks
    The sound of a fish splashing in a still lake

    I’d miss songbirds in the treetops at noon
    The call of a loon just before sunrise

    I’d miss my father’s smile

    But most of all,
    The one thing that would make it all unbearable,
    I’d miss sharing all of this with you.







    Submitted on 2006-02-28 19:16:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Everyone at some point should spend a little time thinking about what you'd really miss if you died tomorrow. I guess this is yours, and I wondered if this would be a boring read. I found that this is not just a list; it really is a poem.

    Your beginning was unconventional, and I liked that. "If my connection to this world ended tomorrow," instead of just 'if I died tomorrow' made me take this poem more seriously from the start.

    "I’d miss the sound of water trickling
    from a lava cliff onto my head
    shivers as the icy water runs down my back"

    You're list is making me rethink my own. I wish more and more that there would be someone I could tell that last line to.

    "But most of all,
    The one thing that would make it all unbearable,
    I’d miss sharing all of this with you."

    -The Prince of Tales
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Prince of Tales | [ Reply to This ]
      awwwww. what a sweet tribute to world, life, and of course love.

    its so nice to see in print, the little things, because afterall, they matter the most. the dynamic then makes them more important that the rest...thats a reminder that we all need.

    good job here Steve.

    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Steve,
    reading this poem was just what I needed to read right now! Thanx so much - you've forced me to think about some of the things I'd miss, thereby making me realise how much I appreciate in life.

    I have to say that for all the hours authors put into coming up with deep, engaging and compelling writes, it is the 'seemingly' simple poems such as "Things I'd Miss" that often have the most revealing effect and impact (although, we all know there was obviously a lot of thought and effort in this wonderful write). "Things I'd Miss" is exactly the sort of poem that I would share with someone else and discuss late into the night, and in my book, that makes it one of the best!

    I love the apparent randomness in this poem, the change in tempo from line to line (or example to example) and the contrasting images.
    A classic example of all three is the following:
    "I’d miss camping next to the railroad tracks
    Waking at night to the sound of thundering locomotives

    I’d miss bedtime"

    And just when I thought it might be a bit 'list-like', you come up with:
    "I’d miss the sound of water trickling
    from a lava cliff onto my head
    shivers as the icy water runs down my back"
    Sheesh, this stanza was amazing!

    Yep, I liked "Things I'd Miss" - I think I will now go away and come up with my own personal version ;-)

    Cheers,
    TD
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by TD | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think I could ever try to list all the things that I'd miss. I commend your effort on this cause there is just so many things I would miss. I wish I could find a guy that would write something like this for me. Just goes to show that superficial items aren't always important...or at least that's what I see...

    ~Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just beautiful! I must admit you made me smile as I read this as the sentiment and sincerity here is just so sweet. Your appreciation for life and your wife is so touching and the fact that you dont take even the little things for granted is priceless. So many people could indeed benefit from even a small portion of your gratefulness. Being in the profession that I am, I see so many sick people, young and old. It is difficult in many ways but it also provides me with the awareness to the fact that I am so lucky in this life and it makes me really appreciate the people I love and the little things that I love about life. Having that one special person to share your life with is more valuable that all the money in the world. Happiness has no price tag to it and is found in the heart. You obviously realize this and waste no time in saying so which is lovely. I cannot critique such a heartfelt and personal poem. Not that I can find anything wrong with it anyway! This is a very meaningful and well written poem. Just beautiful. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Sel always says that you two are the old romantics of the site and here is more proof that she is right. Really delightful.

    To a certain degree, I guess partially because of the cataloguing, this reminds me of Rupert Brookes

    'The Great Lover'

    'I have been so great a lover: filled my days
    So proudly with the splendour of Love’s praise'

    your poem has a similar charm and a much happier ending. To save filling this comment page I'll send the rest to your PM, albeit, you have probably read it already.
    lol
    nessie
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by comradenessie | [ Reply to This ]
      I really have to say I hate trying to make a coherent, non-blubbery comment when you write something like this and make me the reason it all seems wonderful.

    You have brought so much into my life; the camping trips, the warm bed in the middle of the night, flirting with you while line dancing, our boys, old time radio (I cold do without that one- just kidding), joking about who has had the most reads on their poetry (I still have you beat, but only becasue I used the F word in the title.. lol)

    Without you life would be an endless repition of days to sufffer through.

    I love you with all my heart.

    Your love,

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Although this was more of a list insted of a poem it was the most honest and down to earth read I've read in awhile. You incorporated real memories and details and ended this so romantically. I can't find fault in something so personal. This was so sweet. I hope you never have to miss any of those things.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      If I started a list of all the things I would miss, soon there would be no paper left in the entire town. All I know is that the last three words that I speak to my husband each night before I close my eyes are "I miss you."

    Simple beautiful.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Crystal
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      Steve, although this is aimed at Chell, it certainly would touch every reader with a lovely sense of nostalgia, realizing the many things each of us would miss, and possibly forcing some to maybe realize that life ain't TOO bad, after all.

    Nice thoughts, mate
    great for a miserable afternoon

    be happy

    graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautiful.
    Such a great dedication for your wife.
    It has all those little things that make your life, yours.
    It has all of your favorite things & everything that makes it worth living.
    Then there is that person that makes it all as beautiful as it really is.
    That is there to share it with you- what it would be if they were not there?
    The world would look very different indeed.
    Thank you for this wonderful piece, it lets us know that such a strong love exists.
    take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]



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