This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Saving Me

Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890 /865 /108
Words: 139
Class/Type: Poetry /Friendship
Total Views: 1833
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 826


my imaginary friend saves me every time I want to let go... perhaps that means I should never let go.

Saving Me

He slipped the blade from between my two fingers
Index, thumb.
He wiped the blood clean from my shivering legs
Right, left.
He carried my pale sweaty body
and sat me in the shower.
Cold nails bolted my wounds
stealing the rusty residue Frature had missed.
My grey eyes opened and sucked his soul in
"Why are you doing this to me, why are you saving me again?"
Fratu smiled and levatated my body, wrapping me in a towel,
The slits that aggravated my flesh caught the fibers of the fabric
and I felt Fratu's hands grip tighter around me
He laid me in bed
and drew close next to me.
When I woke up the next morning
alone and cold
Fratu was gone
not even an indent was left behind.

Submitted on 2006-02-28 21:01:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This is an interesting poem. How cool to write about an imaginary friend. I could look only on the surface and see what is here, but I could also look deeper, between the lines and find some really good symbolism here as well. I think you did a good job writing this one. It provides the reader with some good imagery and allows them to see the whole picture. I like the ending here as well. "Not even an indent was left behind". A very interesting and thought provoking way to end this poem. Nice job. Take care.

| Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. I've never heard such a beautiful piece about an imaginary friend. Come to think of it, I've never seen a piece written about an imaginary friend. I believe you're right in thinking that it means, don't let go. I liked this piece though. It seems a lot more cheerfull than most of your work!
| Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by darkened_soul | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece, while violent and slightly depressing, it was also relieving and sound. I myself do not cut, and do not agree with the concept, although I continue to understand why people do it, and this piece brought me one step closer to understanding fully.

As for the concept of a saving grace from a friend, I myself was in a similar situation, except I was far from able to help. This piece gave hope and the importance of friendship, whether real or not. I look foward to more of your work.

| Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by SnakeBite7 | [ Reply to This ]
  whao! I'm not the only one with imaginary friend! Yay!... i mean...uh... it was ood. i see how you feel like letting go, but you have a close friend that doesn't want you to go... YOu dont understand... if you kill yourself, you arent the only one effexted... see, my gf slit her wrists and killed herself. Just too much [censored] from her mom and dad made her go to the edge... i went emo temporarily, started cutting, was angry at the world and my life was falling apart. I dont want to see any of your friends suffer...

and maybe you could help me make a nice imaginary friend... all my other imaginary friends are angry and wan t to kill me. Hence my poem Imagination Runs Amuk...
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by diamonds_2_dust | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow... It's almost scary to think about getting that close to committing suicide. As much as it seems like the world won't go on, it does. Believe me, I've been there, although I would have been too afraid to cut or something similar. It's really good. In your poem, it sounds like Fratu is real, although your description seems to say otherwise. I really enjoyed reading this! Keep up the good work! The only thing I would change is maybe add some punctuation at the ends of the lines to direct readers to pause, rather than just assume they will.
| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by Siberianhearts | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?