This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Till death do us part


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 145
Class/Type: Poetry /Death
Total Views: 668
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 946



Description:


Meah- its a funeral...


Till death do us part



It's hard to say
Without losing face
it's hard to walk away
Leaving you in this place

Six feet under
Death and despair
I'm praying to god
But he doesn't care

Jealous was he
To steal such a soul
Rip the earth of its riches
And leave it a hole

You were a fallen angel
But never mine
For you yourself
Were so devine

Wherever you went
You left your touch
Even to strangers
You meant so much

Watching you slip
So fine- I could not hold
You had it all
But all was untold

You bet your life
And the losing card you laid
Now I stand here, and to heaven
I watch your sould fade

I never had you
But you had my heart
As tragic as it is-
It is here that we must part




Submitted on 2006-03-01 03:20:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I read your thing about not commenting so I decided to comment on some of your stuff and I noticed that this poem had no comments at all. So I'm going to say something. I really don't know what to say though. I did Like this piece. Sad, yet it had a sense of peace to it at the end. Like you were accepting what happened and moving on. I wish I knew more about this poem, like the story behind it. Then I think I could have more to say about it. But I did like it and you did a good job. I hope you get more comments and if you have a chance, look at some of my poems and see if any are comment worthy. There were a couple of my poems that I wish got some more feed back so I can totally relate. Anyway you did a great job on this poem. Hope you are saticefied with my comment.
- -Oli
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



93260