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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Star
    ASL Info:    15 F WI
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 125/127/42
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Misc/Depressed
    Total Views: 729
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 264



    Description:
       Hmmm... I wrote this a while back, when boy broke up with me. ya i was pretty bummed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here I sit all alone
    Fear of the unknown
    Upon thewall I pound my fist
    no longer wanting to exist
    In my heart there is so much pain
    slowly driving me insane
    Wanting him to feel and see
    what hes truley done to me...




    Submitted on 2006-03-01 10:40:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This has feeling and a good start but it is to short. The idea is choked, killed prematurely. If you were to extend and write more on this it would be a decent write.
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by nasuka | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree nasuka, i feel this has great potential if you feel like adding some more star, i dont normally go for rhyme but i recently did 1 myself. It feels chopped down, its almost crying to be longer.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by BonafiedRarity | [ Reply to This ]


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