Here I sit all alone
Fear of the unknown
Upon thewall I pound my fist
no longer wanting to exist
In my heart there is so much pain
slowly driving me insane
Wanting him to feel and see
what hes truley done to me...
This has feeling and a good start but it is to short. The idea is choked, killed prematurely. If you were to extend and write more on this it would be a decent write.
i agree nasuka, i feel this has great potential if you feel like adding some more star, i dont normally go for rhyme but i recently did 1 myself. It feels chopped down, its almost crying to be longer.
Submission Name: untitled
