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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: columbusdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 739
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 242



    Description:
       ok so i went to g.a. with my poarents who were flipping out that it changed so much in 15 years but what the fuck do you expect i mean honestly ok then tell me what you think


    by no means is this the poem i was talking about in my journal but this should hold you off


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscolumbusdots
    -------------------------------------------


    fifteen years and what have you done
    take a look at yourself are you still your fathers son
    the same one you used to be
    so lively so free
    times change people too
    are you the same you?






    Submitted on 2006-03-01 16:20:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sorenity,

    This piece was wonderful and really caught my eyes! You are still a great writer Sorenity! The syllables match in each line. You could make it into two stanza's but there is no need! All is great with this one. Keep up the great work! Later!

    Sombra
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      i really can't imagine anybody not changing in the space of 15 years. that's just ridiculous. maybe this person should take ur advice and take time out of his day to ask himself if he really knows who he is. this is good. short as hell though
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      I like minimalism and the value of more in less - this sounded like a song I heard once but I like the simple question it begs - sometimes I think of what I used to think I'd be like and what I actually am like - I like who I am!
    Great!
    love,peace,joy&smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one of those pieces that is incredibly short yet still equally astounding to a longer piece. Simple, direct, and wonderfully worded. "take a look at yourself, are you still your fathers son"-thats the part I think I enjoyed the most. Really though, nicely done!
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by beldolore | [ Reply to This ]
      it's an interesting poem, it asks a fundamental question as to who we are and why we change. do we change because we should? or is it ok to stay the same thru the years?
    of course you're not talking about a person which makes it even more interesting.. yes intrigues out the wazoo...

    one thing though, the first 2 lines could be broken better, but over all, very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by onepieces | [ Reply to This ]
      AHHHH! It's Sorenity! Hey, this poem is writting in the rythm of a song. Are you stoned? I am just kidding. I am crazy! You still think I am coool! I ain't! I am! The poem is eye catching! You disappear for a while and then you reappear! Thank you for popping up with your realism. I am feeling bored and am stunned at what to critique so I must go. One last thing, see you on the Space!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      i like how this says so much in a compact way, it really leaves you thinking, the way it cuts to the point and leaves it echoing in your mind.
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]


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