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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Metamorphosisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jill Lynne
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 77/92/23
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 247
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 663



    Description:
       self-explanatory


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMetamorphosisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    remain intact
    inspite of this
    because of this I will
    somehow find my way
    on through
    the fire and the kill
    painful yet
    i'm reminded again
    too many times to feel
    metamorphosis
    transcending
    this becoming all too real


    i bow unto thee
    all the while
    maintaining
    the fake peace
    a challenge here
    to bite my tongue
    accepting what I see
    moving through this
    broken marraige
    up to chin
    in your debris
    is like wading
    in an open sea
    with no one there
    to rescue me




    Submitted on 2006-03-01 17:43:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      In this write I am immediately drawn to a vision of a couple who are in love but are faced with numerous problems that are weighing them down
    It is sad when true love can be destroyed by the negativity of the world
    Remain Positive
    The answer lies in your heart
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      The last eight were the most powerful. I love the rhythm, the rhyme, and how concise the lines are. It took sometime to get used to the beginning of the poem. My style would have combined a few of the lines together as one like "all the while/maintaining." Overall, I enjoyed this piece.
    DN
    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem starts off slow, but picks up in the second stanza. It's always hard when changes happen in life, especailly relationships. I think you expressed your pain well and used good imagery. Good job!

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      thats really good but i dont get the part about the fire and the kill...the whole thing as a whole was fun to read but some words like kinda took away a lil bit

    i give this an 8/10


    Trevor..~
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]



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