[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sunday Songsdots

    Author: haileebobailee
    ASL Info:    18/F/NV
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 30/41/15
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 603
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1009

       I think we all let ourselves live a lie at least once...I just wish I had been real with him....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSunday Songsdots

    You used to write
    me stupid little love songs
    then play them
    in the moonlight
    every sunday
    outside my window

    It always made me smile
    the corny hooks and verses
    told me how you really felt
    and as you strummed
    on your guitar
    you spilled your soul

    It was never love for me
    but you were there
    on my doorstep
    with poetry and roses
    so I let you take me

    I hid myself under layers
    of lace and mascara
    and asked you
    to let me live your dreams

    Then I filled your head
    with empty words
    and endless lies

    Finally we crashed into the truth
    and you seperated yourself
    with miles of road
    and one last song

    I moved on too
    but Sundays
    your voice still
    plays in my head
    and my eyes always go to the window

    Submitted on 2006-03-02 01:20:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well i see what you mean.. if you want to i would really appriciate it if you would help me and yeah.. things do make me feel like Im going to bring it all to the end.. and yeah... so if you can help me i would really appriciate it...
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by bjafreak | [ Reply to This ]
      great job on this, thats the way life is...you never know what you really have until you've lost it...the hardest part...learning you can't get it back. when i was reading it, i couldn't stop, you did well. but the bad part is, i'd like to hear more about the story...what happened?
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfectly paced. The self-analayzing, yet not apologizing for it. That's refreshing. I think this is a really well done piece of life. Fact, or fiction it rings with the bittersweet way reality misleads us. If that makes sense
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Mr_Eff | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved it. Your honesty but yet no regret for what happened. I found inspiring. It was sweet but not sappy. It made me think of an old relationship in which was one like this. i wish i could have been as honest as you at the time.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Linley | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, Hailee! Girl, this is another great write:

    'I hid myself under layers
    of lace and mascara
    and asked you
    to let me live your dreams'

    that verse really spoke to me. It's so often we hide our true selfs in fear of being hurt, but 9/10 times that is the cause of us getting hurt in the end. And when we do realize what we're doing it's oh so late. And then there's the times that we're just there because we don't want to be alone. I love this poem. It says so much, and every reader is going to take something different from it.

    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ]
      Usually I don't read love poems but yours has a reality about it that brings it home. Well balanced and not gooey eyed. Good job gal...
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by mugsy | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all I hate love poems! BUT yours is not an average love poem and I absolutely love it.I love the reality of it and the honesty you brought to it. It is hard to admit when you allow yourself to be bamboozeled by admiration but this does in my interpretation an excellent job of portraying the one that was benefitting from the attention and the honesty of just not feeling it.Kudos..excellent write.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Jill Lynne | [ Reply to This ]
      This write aI like
    I like how you picked Sunday
    the holy day as the day his memory meant the most
    I can tell you really cared about this person
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Carry written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The World written by jjd
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]