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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Be Patientdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Khaled AbdAllah
    ASL Info:    22 - male - Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 129/137/30
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 860



    Description:
       I think it is clear that I'm writing this poem for one my relatives who wants to fall in love and this were my advises to him.. I hope you will all like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBe Patientdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He came closer to me
    and whispered in my ears
    " When will I fall in love? "
    His words were like an
    earthquake under my feet.
    He astonished, surprised me
    with his sweet wishes.

    I answered him gently and softly
    " Be patient my dear young friend
    Love comes softly... Someday
    you'll fall in love... So do not
    rush things... Do not wonder if
    the jug which contains that magical
    spell is reachable and allowed
    to everyone, simply because it
    is God's gift to the humankind.

    Take it as an advice from a heart
    That has tasted its sweet and
    Bitter honey too " Be ware of that
    sudden feeling... It could be the
    source of your suffering and it
    could be your way to paradise.




    Submitted on 2006-03-02 11:14:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thanks for your lovely comment, I had a blast reading it.
    I read many of your poems, and I found them incredibly sweet (with 89% of them focused on love).
    I have wondered about you Khaled AbdAllah ! How did you it? How did you move through life and hanged on to an unaltered view of love? I think it amazing.

    I like this poem "be patient", it is of course sweet. I particularly liked this part:
    " Be patient my dear young friend Love comes softly... "
    I asked myself, how your friend responded,you know to "... someday you'll fall in love". Just out of curiousity, does everybody fall in love sometimes? Dunno.
    Also, I really loved this image of a jug containing God's gift- aka love spells. I am not clear one thing though, are you questionning love 's availability for every human? Or are you calming his fear( his fear/worry being that even though the gift of love is rightfully his, he may not have access to it)by telling him to give it time. All in all, i liked the candour and sweetness of the poem.
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by Angel_Sin | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey long time no hearing. Where are you? Anyway I think this is one of the best poems I have ever read. It is nice has a great flow and the wording is good. You managed to describe love very well.
    Well done a lovely poem

    Take it as an advice from a heart
    That has tasted its sweet and
    Bitter honey too " Be ware of that
    sudden feeling... It could be the
    source of your suffering and it
    could be your way to paradise

    This is my favourite stanza
    With love shabnam
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
      "be patient, love comes softly" - wonderful advice.

    This is well written and has some beautiful words for your friend.. and for your readers (such as I).

    I particularly like this part..

    "Be ware of that
    sudden feeling... It could be the
    source of your suffering and it
    could be your way to paradise." - it's true.. love can be both.

    You did a great job in writing this. It shows your wisdom, your talent.. and your caring heart.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo! Now this really is good advice you have given this person. And, I think that says it really is a good write. To me everything was clear as a bell here and other than a few minor typo's I see no need for change. But you know what, everyone has to be burned by love gone bad atleast once to understand the full and true meaning of love. Now that's just my opinion for what it is worth.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      great advice i love it ...
    i guess we all ... or almost all can relate to this one .. when we are teenager , we just want to feel love but it doesnt happen until someone caught your heart ...
    well keep writing and this a good one
    thank for sahring and if you have a chance please take a look to my writings
    peace and love
    take care
    and have a nice day
    Victor
    | Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I started to write a comment yester day and I guess I clicked off without submitting..sorry.

    I found it refreshing that theyyou referred to love as a gentle emotion...many would argue that it is volitile and sometimes it is.

    Do not worry the
    jug which contains that magical
    spell is reachable

    I'm not sure that "worry is the correct word here or the sentence needs the word 'about" after worry
    or
    Do not wonder if the jug...

    Change advise to advice...remember advice is a noun...advise is a verb.

    This is incredibly sweet and vunerable...
    jan
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so true
    These are definately words to live by
    Be careful of looking for Love as Love can also bring pain
    This is why I dont believe in looking for Love I believe Love will come to you
    Excellent Write
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      The first stanza is what stuck out the most to me...just powerful wording, actually throughout the entire poem. You did a great job with the advise and you wove a wonderful poem from the experience. Great flow and imagery. Truly a delightful read.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      It could be the
    source of your suffering and it
    could be your way to paradise.


    Thiss is so true and so mystical. It makes a wonderrful point without saying too much.

    I like it!

    Good job!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    93454

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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