[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Brave Princessdots

    Author: ParLon
    ASL Info:    19/f
    Elite Ratio:    2.66 - 68/98/50
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 862
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 985

       It's more of a story... it's inspired by the old poetry written on the Brit Isles a long, long time ago...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Brave Princessdots

    A girl walks into the night.
    She wears a long white gown.
    Her hair is silky, her eyes are saphire
    and her head decored with a crown.

    The princess she is, of a lonely land
    and into the woods she goes
    to find a way to save her men
    and their women from eternal woes.

    In the woods she hopes
    to find a witch who put a spell on all,
    and now they kneel with knees in mud.
    and wait for death to call.

    A princess, brave and pretty as sun
    she bids the woman of spell
    to help her save her doomed men
    and what is to do, she shall.

    So the evil witch, no mercy she had
    and asked the girl to stay.
    And then she freed the men from mud
    but kept them all away.

    The brave and fair could not be saved
    and soldiers did what they can.
    Then, sad and slowly retired away
    And their queen they never saw again.

    Submitted on 2006-03-02 11:31:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow. that was beautiful and sad. I could see the princess change phisically and mentally as the story unfolded. There is a definite beautiful sadness here, and metaforically can be interpreted a few different ways. I read it over twice and got different meanings. you are a wonderful story teller and i think that is one of your biggest strengths
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      Its nice and refreshing to read something that is a little bit metophorical!

    To me this suggests the idea of a person growing up, at first I thought maybe gaining some inner knowledge... but the change from princess to queen seems too permanent. I can imagine this would be the kind of feelings expressed by a father watching his daughter growing up.

    Not too sure about the rhyming, although on reflection it does give it a nice edge, as it it is remenicent of a witches spell and could signify that the narrator is the witch... makes me think, just gonna give it another read through!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Dave S Skinner | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the metaphoricalness of this. as everyone. but i think you didn't do nearly as good as this could be. idk in my opinion it really falls off half way down. i love all of the first half, and the second half is still good, but enough for the first. get what i mean.

    all in all a good work just more potential i think. idk though could be me.

    later skilless
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Incubus written by monad
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    This written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]