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    dots Submission Name: The Brave Princessdots

    Author: ParLon
    ASL Info:    19/f
    Elite Ratio:    2.66 - 68/98/50
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 851
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 985

       It's more of a story... it's inspired by the old poetry written on the Brit Isles a long, long time ago...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Brave Princessdots

    A girl walks into the night.
    She wears a long white gown.
    Her hair is silky, her eyes are saphire
    and her head decored with a crown.

    The princess she is, of a lonely land
    and into the woods she goes
    to find a way to save her men
    and their women from eternal woes.

    In the woods she hopes
    to find a witch who put a spell on all,
    and now they kneel with knees in mud.
    and wait for death to call.

    A princess, brave and pretty as sun
    she bids the woman of spell
    to help her save her doomed men
    and what is to do, she shall.

    So the evil witch, no mercy she had
    and asked the girl to stay.
    And then she freed the men from mud
    but kept them all away.

    The brave and fair could not be saved
    and soldiers did what they can.
    Then, sad and slowly retired away
    And their queen they never saw again.

    Submitted on 2006-03-02 11:31:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow. that was beautiful and sad. I could see the princess change phisically and mentally as the story unfolded. There is a definite beautiful sadness here, and metaforically can be interpreted a few different ways. I read it over twice and got different meanings. you are a wonderful story teller and i think that is one of your biggest strengths
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      Its nice and refreshing to read something that is a little bit metophorical!

    To me this suggests the idea of a person growing up, at first I thought maybe gaining some inner knowledge... but the change from princess to queen seems too permanent. I can imagine this would be the kind of feelings expressed by a father watching his daughter growing up.

    Not too sure about the rhyming, although on reflection it does give it a nice edge, as it it is remenicent of a witches spell and could signify that the narrator is the witch... makes me think, just gonna give it another read through!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Dave S Skinner | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the metaphoricalness of this. as everyone. but i think you didn't do nearly as good as this could be. idk in my opinion it really falls off half way down. i love all of the first half, and the second half is still good, but enough for the first. get what i mean.

    all in all a good work just more potential i think. idk though could be me.

    later skilless
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Skillessbasterd | [ Reply to This ]

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