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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All the dirty things I would do 2 udots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LoveToHateMe
    ASL Info:    20/girl/Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.61 - 175/148/42
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1452
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769



    Description:
       


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    dotsAll the dirty things I would do 2 udots
    -------------------------------------------


    I HATE every Little thing about you.
    There are so many things that I want to do.
    Like stab you in the chest and rip out your heart,
    then shove it back in while its all torn apart.
    I start to vomit when I picture your face,
    and I want you to burn in your own disgrace.
    I'll hand you the matches that you'll have to light.
    I want you to force yourself to ignite.
    As you go up in flames, I´┐Żll stand back and wait,
    watching with pleasure as you incinerate.
    I'll stay just long enough to spit on your ashes,
    and laugh in your face as your soul falls and crashes.
    It would be just enough, but until you are dead,
    All of these thoughts dance around in my head.




    Submitted on 2006-03-02 11:47:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, I'd just like to add a bit of criticism -- there are some parts where the flow is a bit off. I like the rhyming, but some of it seems too forced.
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      Like the lastone I commented, such anger and violence conveyed quite gracefully. Another great write... I love your work!!
    | Posted on 2006-05-11 00:00:00 | by teenage_dirtbag | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a great job on this poem. There's a lot of anger in this piece but I like it. I feel that way about people myself and I struggle to get my feelings out like you do. They always seem to get caught up in confusion. Reguardless I enjoyed the poem and I think you have a great style of writing! Keep up the great work!

    ~Cris
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]
      Really dark and full of emotion. very well done and very beautifully written. the flow and rhyme work every well with each other. It really keeps the reader interested. I am adding this to my fav's.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      that was really really dark.. lol. nice rhymes. does the poor dude/gal have a clue how much u hate him/her... she/he better be taking the next flight. can i copy it to send to someone i hate too.
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by strike three | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...thats kinda how i write...i feel like doing all of those things to my ex. im a guy but i still feel the same way the rhymes are great the insinorate part is great i wish i thought of it...are u a pyro b/e u talk about burning people i think about that alot its really deep and i think u should write more of these methoids of slow pain full death...
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      nice one. you know i like your stuff. this is how i feel about a lot of people. i hope that you are doing good...even though i dont know you. well have fun with this comment.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by sadspanky | [ Reply to This ]
      Is that about my mom?

    Haha no. Just kidding.
    But really, that is wonderful.
    I love the fire. (You know how I do.)
    Doesnt it just suck that it would be really bad if you actually did that to someone? Some people really need to be set on fire, in my opinion. But hey, what can you do?
    The wording and rhyming and stuff are lovely as always.
    You are awesome
    Byee Samm

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      great job, i love stuff like this...only this is one of the best i've read in a long time. many of us feel this way about different people in our lives...like for me i thought of my dad...you have true talent...
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      o god! i hope this isn't about me!

    I like the anger in this. and the violence, i love violence! is this one i'm gonna partake in, or are u on your own? i'll help you hide the evidence.
    You really portray violent, unrestrainable, livid anger perfectly. PERFECT! (insert bert impresion here) I'm feeling that way right now. Towards Jeremy. You'll hear about before you read this. ANYWAY!
    i love this poem and you. yay!
    Make today as great as you want it to be,
    -Kate
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]


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