Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rottendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1058
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1079



    Description:
       Tell me what you think it is...I love it when people percieve something differently. I'll smile at the person with the best explanation...not the right explanation but the one that was most thought about. Hee hee...my smiles make the muses cry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRottendots
    -------------------------------------------


    the doors are dead, she whispered
    and they lay rotting and eaten by fungi and parasites
    all perspective is lost, she thought
    and the frame of the door was melting
    the floor was covered in shadows brought on by the dwindling day
    the vines grew in the windows
    but had nothing new to say
    she watched the setting sun
    and the end of every song she heard
    they have died for sure, she wrote
    died without me, I'm here alone in a world with no thought beyond this wall
    they don't even try to knock it down
    and if they did they would be blind to the life on the other side
    and she lay down
    and let the door consume her
    and she starved there
    and then became a meal for the fungi and the parasites
    and slowly she became the soil
    and the nutrients
    that would eventually make their way
    to the other side
    and there she grew
    inside a seed
    and bloomed to become a flower
    and the lizard played at the foot of her stems




    Submitted on 2006-03-02 12:13:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know why but it reminds me of some of my own work. I guess because we both like to hear what other people get from it without first giving explanation. So here goes it, I think the woman was not left alone by the anonymous "they" who died, but that she has died and left "them". I believe her spirit looks out from the old house, being a purgatory type place, and then lets go as this realization comes when she "lay down and let the door consume her" and is finally reborn as the flower. That's the version that comes into my mind, but as I read I feel in my heart there is much more emotion in it than just this. I also like the way you make the mood flow from dismal and bleak to watching a sunset then back to dismal and bleak and then ending with rebirth and the lizard(whose name should be flower :}) Anywho, I do enjoy "Rotten" poetry :).

    Owlman
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by owlman23 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the way you list and i use that word alot to discribe life...it sounds like u really knew this person u were writing about, is it just me or did this actauly happen u choose words or discription well

    Trevor"../../"
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this
    Your a great writer
    Specifically your word choice and diction
    It almost brings to mind reincarnation but mostly it just reminds me of [censored] my mother used to say such as keep your chin up tomorrow will be different
    This piece almost has that sense of hope such as something as gross and dark can turn into something as aspiring as a flower
    good job
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by NeonOrangePrize | [ Reply to This ]
      You see , you see... this is the type of poem that i write in my head , theses are the notions that my foresight holds ../. you see
    you see.../.theses are the poems that - i just can't get down on paper! ../. good job good .../. .../. you have a great vision ../.

    my fav line is : they have died for sure, she wrote

    janus
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      A story in poem form... great write. First of all, I think perhaps you wrote this feeling like you needed to reform into a new person. You felt that everything around you that was once so familiar and so simple, everything that made up your home and your existance somehow changed. And you remained the same. You eventually DID change, and evolve into something beautiful, like a flower, because of the desire to become reunited with everything you once knew. I dunno, maybe I'm way off, but that was my interpretation. and I liked it! THANKS FOR SHARING!
    @>->- Jenn
    | Posted on 2006-03-11 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]
      You got me wanting to start turning cartwheels.
    Your writing is hypnotic even though it is slightly difficult.
    Unless its just whimsical in which case it would be too easy.
    But I have to guess that poor house got abandoned.
    Is that music I hear?
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Jodans | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your usage of words for this particular piece. The words kind of put you there feeling her pain and her determination. This piece makes you feel like you are her and that you are the one dying. It is very good.
    | Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by Gefangen | [ Reply to This ]
      And the Freebles joined hands at the toadstool waving fern fronds larger than they were.

    And all I got to see was and, and, and, and, and... I don't like "and" that much... hard to tell huh?

    Now that I've got that out of my system, I'm going to read some more of your poems, this is the first one I clicked on. I'm not judgemenal, just mental :)
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by Shaqua1973 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    93462

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The World written by jjd
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry