Description: Tell me what you think it is...I love it when people percieve something differently. I'll smile at the person with the best explanation...not the right explanation but the one that was most thought about. Hee hee...my smiles make the muses cry.
the doors are dead, she whispered
and they lay rotting and eaten by fungi and parasites
all perspective is lost, she thought
and the frame of the door was melting
the floor was covered in shadows brought on by the dwindling day
the vines grew in the windows
but had nothing new to say
she watched the setting sun
and the end of every song she heard
they have died for sure, she wrote
died without me, I'm here alone in a world with no thought beyond this wall
they don't even try to knock it down
and if they did they would be blind to the life on the other side
and she lay down
and let the door consume her
and she starved there
and then became a meal for the fungi and the parasites
and slowly she became the soil
and the nutrients
that would eventually make their way
to the other side
and there she grew
inside a seed
and bloomed to become a flower
and the lizard played at the foot of her stems
I don't know why but it reminds me of some of my own work. I guess because we both like to hear what other people get from it without first giving explanation. So here goes it, I think the woman was not left alone by the anonymous "they" who died, but that she has died and left "them". I believe her spirit looks out from the old house, being a purgatory type place, and then lets go as this realization comes when she "lay down and let the door consume her" and is finally reborn as the flower. That's the version that comes into my mind, but as I read I feel in my heart there is much more emotion in it than just this. I also like the way you make the mood flow from dismal and bleak to watching a sunset then back to dismal and bleak and then ending with rebirth and the lizard(whose name should be flower :}) Anywho, I do enjoy "Rotten" poetry :).
i like the way you list and i use that word alot to discribe life...it sounds like u really knew this person u were writing about, is it just me or did this actauly happen u choose words or discription well
I like this Your a great writer Specifically your word choice and diction It almost brings to mind reincarnation but mostly it just reminds me of [censored] my mother used to say such as keep your chin up tomorrow will be different This piece almost has that sense of hope such as something as gross and dark can turn into something as aspiring as a flower good job
You see , you see... this is the type of poem that i write in my head , theses are the notions that my foresight holds ../. you see you see.../.theses are the poems that - i just can't get down on paper! ../. good job good .../. .../. you have a great vision ../.
my fav line is : they have died for sure, she wrote
A story in poem form... great write. First of all, I think perhaps you wrote this feeling like you needed to reform into a new person. You felt that everything around you that was once so familiar and so simple, everything that made up your home and your existance somehow changed. And you remained the same. You eventually DID change, and evolve into something beautiful, like a flower, because of the desire to become reunited with everything you once knew. I dunno, maybe I'm way off, but that was my interpretation. and I liked it! THANKS FOR SHARING! @>->- Jenn
You got me wanting to start turning cartwheels. Your writing is hypnotic even though it is slightly difficult. Unless its just whimsical in which case it would be too easy. But I have to guess that poor house got abandoned. Is that music I hear?
I like your usage of words for this particular piece. The words kind of put you there feeling her pain and her determination. This piece makes you feel like you are her and that you are the one dying. It is very good.