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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Belongs To Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1483



    Description:
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    dotsBelongs To Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's something that lurks within you,
    Way down deep inside
    It's something that you don't want to admit,
    Something you attempt to hide.
    It's something that I know all too well,
    It's something we used to share.
    You think that you covered it with stones,
    But I know it's still there.
    It's that part of you that's missing,
    That sparkle that's gone from your eyes.
    It's the piece of you that belongs to me
    And it's a part that you cannot deny.
    It's that magic that was in your smile,
    That music in your voice.
    You lost it when you left me here.
    You lost yourself in your choice.

    There's a part of me that belongs to you.
    I can't make it go away.
    I wish I could give it all back to you.
    Instead, I have to live this way.
    I can't begin to heal if you're still here.
    I'd lose my light if you chose to go.
    I can't wash myself clean of your presence.
    You captured my very soul.
    I can't hide the way I feel for you.
    I can't still the beating of my heart.
    You left an empty shell behind you,
    Because you took the very best parts.
    I want to be content with myself.
    I long for you to set me free.
    But I know you just keep holding on,
    Because you know you belong to me.




    Submitted on 2006-03-02 13:19:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      omg this is my feeling on ice...wow i loved it...it was really cool how u said there is a part of you that belongs to me...i liked how every other line rimed that was really cool and fun to read, i think the only not really great part was "i want to be content with my self" it doesnt really fit in there as well
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow fantastic! This is very well written and says so very much in a couple of paragraphs. The way you have presented this idea is really well done, it doesnt at all sound bitter...and although it has a very sad feeling about it...it does not at all come across as just another angst or venting kind of poem...im sure that most people could relate to this and think of someone from their past or present whom this is applicable to...well done!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      *SIlent treatment to Raivn*

    This was a good poem...mostly because it flowed well, I think that the emotion in this is displayed well and the use of colorful words is spectacular.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your emotions. You put them down very well. It was written perfectly. Love...what a confusing emotion. I think that you got your feelings out, with all the right words.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by vonnie | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful! This has to be one of my favorites. When I read this...I thought of two people...Tony and Jazmine. I can see how it can lean on both. I'm sorry that I can't give better reviews but I have been really blank and my head hurts and...bah!
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]


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