[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Belongs To Medots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 709
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1483


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBelongs To Medots

    There's something that lurks within you,
    Way down deep inside
    It's something that you don't want to admit,
    Something you attempt to hide.
    It's something that I know all too well,
    It's something we used to share.
    You think that you covered it with stones,
    But I know it's still there.
    It's that part of you that's missing,
    That sparkle that's gone from your eyes.
    It's the piece of you that belongs to me
    And it's a part that you cannot deny.
    It's that magic that was in your smile,
    That music in your voice.
    You lost it when you left me here.
    You lost yourself in your choice.

    There's a part of me that belongs to you.
    I can't make it go away.
    I wish I could give it all back to you.
    Instead, I have to live this way.
    I can't begin to heal if you're still here.
    I'd lose my light if you chose to go.
    I can't wash myself clean of your presence.
    You captured my very soul.
    I can't hide the way I feel for you.
    I can't still the beating of my heart.
    You left an empty shell behind you,
    Because you took the very best parts.
    I want to be content with myself.
    I long for you to set me free.
    But I know you just keep holding on,
    Because you know you belong to me.

    Submitted on 2006-03-02 13:19:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      omg this is my feeling on ice...wow i loved it...it was really cool how u said there is a part of you that belongs to me...i liked how every other line rimed that was really cool and fun to read, i think the only not really great part was "i want to be content with my self" it doesnt really fit in there as well
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow fantastic! This is very well written and says so very much in a couple of paragraphs. The way you have presented this idea is really well done, it doesnt at all sound bitter...and although it has a very sad feeling about it...it does not at all come across as just another angst or venting kind of poem...im sure that most people could relate to this and think of someone from their past or present whom this is applicable to...well done!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      *SIlent treatment to Raivn*

    This was a good poem...mostly because it flowed well, I think that the emotion in this is displayed well and the use of colorful words is spectacular.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your emotions. You put them down very well. It was written perfectly. Love...what a confusing emotion. I think that you got your feelings out, with all the right words.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by vonnie | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful! This has to be one of my favorites. When I read this...I thought of two people...Tony and Jazmine. I can see how it can lean on both. I'm sorry that I can't give better reviews but I have been really blank and my head hurts and...bah!
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Linger written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]