Take me away by nosferotu

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Take me away dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	nosferotu_gurl
ASL Info:	16/female/wa
Elite Ratio:	2.78 - 136/163/65
Words:	122

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	165
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	734

Description:
Dunno.Wrote it while I was shitfaced and decided to see what others thought.Dont look to far into this of me.

Take me away dots

-------------------------------------------

Take me from this prison,
Strip me of this pain.
Bleed away my broken heart,
Let me feel the rain.

Steal me from this hell on earth,
Dry the tears from my eyes.
Allow me to smile one last time,
Before I take to the skies.

Soak up all of my energy,
Allow these clouds to clear.
Let me feel the warmth of summer,
As I shed my final tear.

Have me become a memory,
One that brings a tear to your eye.
Let my body rest in peace,
For no longer will I cry.

Please fulfill these wishes,
As my soul begins to drain.
Let my story, be a reminder,
Of all those who suffer from pain

Submitted on 2006-03-02 13:20:29 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  nice. i love it. the rythm the feelng. and the last line kicked ass! just 1 thing, somtimes the rythm dosent really flow well like :Steal me from this hell on earth,
Dry the tears from my eyes
maby like: steal me from this hell on earth,
dry the tears from my sore eyes.
ok so theres not much diffrence but anyway!
i like the poem a lot :) check out some of my stuff! ill check out some of urs. see ya lol 0_o
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by elva | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved the emotion, and the so simple, but complex words. I loved how you made it sound like you were trapped in a box, and you couldn't get out. It was almost a bit euphoric when you said "bleed away my broken heart" This was really good,a nd I am looking forward to reading some more of your work!
Alyssa
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved the emotion, and the so simple, but complex words. I loved how you made it sound like you were trapped in a box, and you couldn't get out. It was almost a bit euphoric when you said "bleed away my broken heart" This was really good,a nd I am looking forward to reading some more of your work!
Alyssa
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
  i love the way you make it into a story, i think thats how most of us feel...life really sucks sometimes and the hardest part is finding something to live for, i hope you find something that makes these thoughts seem childish. great poem over all. rhyming was all on key and it was a good length. what did you experence to make you feel this way?
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved the emotion, and the so simple, but complex words. I loved how you made it sound like you were trapped in a box, and you couldn't get out. It was almost a bit euphoric when you said "bleed away my broken heart" This was really good,a nd I am looking forward to reading some more of your work!
Alyssa
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.