Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tendrilsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTendrilsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's a feeling
    older and more gray-white
    than sea fog,
    as opaque and heavy
    as algae on a pond.
    The melancholy entangles
    you in its tendrils
    that tighten with your every movement.
    You think that if you could stop squirming,
    stop pitying yourself,
    you'd end this symbiosis,
    and the beast would die.




    Submitted on 2004-05-03 00:31:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, melancholy and self-pity are parasites that live off of us. The more we feel them the harder they grip. You are oh so right in describing this as a feeling older than the sea fog. This is something that captures each and every part of humanity at one point or another.
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the title of this piece, its great, i jsut liek that word in general lol, but anyways this poem makes you think we ll me @ least it has a very deep meaning, even though its written so simply great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I amsure its excellent..but its 1:30 am and my brain is ooze...mush...a big ol blob o' jelly. I will come back and read again at a more literate moment, aye? Heh...gads I'm tired, Goodnight... ~Sicobe R. Cr...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzz...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Algae on a pond....a bit gross and unpleasant..but it works well with the tendrils of melancholy/depression.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      don't ask me why but i get a very calvin / hobbes vision when i read this poem. i can imagine this to be just the kind of thing that he would imagine. i really liked this one.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      If you delete I would just take off the first three. leave the opaque heavy pond algae there..it's uniqueness gives the poem a signature of sorts.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      The only thing i would change about this piece is the use of the word 'tendrils' itself... i don't think its needed to emphasise the name of the piece, and will probably do better still without it. i too like the algae on a pond line... its unique and a vivid picture...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      a good poem. your images are very vivid. I like that. I get the feeling it's about depression and not just melancholy, but that is probably just me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    9350

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry