[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tendrilsdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It's a feeling
    older and more gray-white
    than sea fog,
    as opaque and heavy
    as algae on a pond.
    The melancholy entangles
    you in its tendrils
    that tighten with your every movement.
    You think that if you could stop squirming,
    stop pitying yourself,
    you'd end this symbiosis,
    and the beast would die.

    Submitted on 2004-05-03 00:31:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, melancholy and self-pity are parasites that live off of us. The more we feel them the harder they grip. You are oh so right in describing this as a feeling older than the sea fog. This is something that captures each and every part of humanity at one point or another.
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the title of this piece, its great, i jsut liek that word in general lol, but anyways this poem makes you think we ll me @ least it has a very deep meaning, even though its written so simply great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I amsure its excellent..but its 1:30 am and my brain is ooze...mush...a big ol blob o' jelly. I will come back and read again at a more literate moment, aye? Heh...gads I'm tired, Goodnight... ~Sicobe R. Cr...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzz...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Algae on a pond....a bit gross and unpleasant..but it works well with the tendrils of melancholy/depression.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      don't ask me why but i get a very calvin / hobbes vision when i read this poem. i can imagine this to be just the kind of thing that he would imagine. i really liked this one.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      If you delete I would just take off the first three. leave the opaque heavy pond algae there..it's uniqueness gives the poem a signature of sorts.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      The only thing i would change about this piece is the use of the word 'tendrils' itself... i don't think its needed to emphasise the name of the piece, and will probably do better still without it. i too like the algae on a pond line... its unique and a vivid picture...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      a good poem. your images are very vivid. I like that. I get the feeling it's about depression and not just melancholy, but that is probably just me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]