[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tendrilsdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It's a feeling
    older and more gray-white
    than sea fog,
    as opaque and heavy
    as algae on a pond.
    The melancholy entangles
    you in its tendrils
    that tighten with your every movement.
    You think that if you could stop squirming,
    stop pitying yourself,
    you'd end this symbiosis,
    and the beast would die.

    Submitted on 2004-05-03 00:31:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, melancholy and self-pity are parasites that live off of us. The more we feel them the harder they grip. You are oh so right in describing this as a feeling older than the sea fog. This is something that captures each and every part of humanity at one point or another.
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the title of this piece, its great, i jsut liek that word in general lol, but anyways this poem makes you think we ll me @ least it has a very deep meaning, even though its written so simply great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I amsure its excellent..but its 1:30 am and my brain is ooze...mush...a big ol blob o' jelly. I will come back and read again at a more literate moment, aye? Heh...gads I'm tired, Goodnight... ~Sicobe R. Cr...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzz...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Algae on a pond....a bit gross and unpleasant..but it works well with the tendrils of melancholy/depression.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      don't ask me why but i get a very calvin / hobbes vision when i read this poem. i can imagine this to be just the kind of thing that he would imagine. i really liked this one.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      If you delete I would just take off the first three. leave the opaque heavy pond algae there..it's uniqueness gives the poem a signature of sorts.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      The only thing i would change about this piece is the use of the word 'tendrils' itself... i don't think its needed to emphasise the name of the piece, and will probably do better still without it. i too like the algae on a pond line... its unique and a vivid picture...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      a good poem. your images are very vivid. I like that. I get the feeling it's about depression and not just melancholy, but that is probably just me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Linger written by saartha
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Bond written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Giving written by jjd
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]