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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tendrilsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 385



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTendrilsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's a feeling
    older and more gray-white
    than sea fog,
    as opaque and heavy
    as algae on a pond.
    The melancholy entangles
    you in its tendrils
    that tighten with your every movement.
    You think that if you could stop squirming,
    stop pitying yourself,
    you'd end this symbiosis,
    and the beast would die.




    Submitted on 2004-05-03 00:31:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, melancholy and self-pity are parasites that live off of us. The more we feel them the harder they grip. You are oh so right in describing this as a feeling older than the sea fog. This is something that captures each and every part of humanity at one point or another.
    | Posted on 2004-05-04 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the title of this piece, its great, i jsut liek that word in general lol, but anyways this poem makes you think we ll me @ least it has a very deep meaning, even though its written so simply great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I amsure its excellent..but its 1:30 am and my brain is ooze...mush...a big ol blob o' jelly. I will come back and read again at a more literate moment, aye? Heh...gads I'm tired, Goodnight... ~Sicobe R. Cr...zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzz...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      Algae on a pond....a bit gross and unpleasant..but it works well with the tendrils of melancholy/depression.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      don't ask me why but i get a very calvin / hobbes vision when i read this poem. i can imagine this to be just the kind of thing that he would imagine. i really liked this one.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      If you delete I would just take off the first three. leave the opaque heavy pond algae there..it's uniqueness gives the poem a signature of sorts.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      The only thing i would change about this piece is the use of the word 'tendrils' itself... i don't think its needed to emphasise the name of the piece, and will probably do better still without it. i too like the algae on a pond line... its unique and a vivid picture...
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      a good poem. your images are very vivid. I like that. I get the feeling it's about depression and not just melancholy, but that is probably just me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-03 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


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