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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I trydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: frenchie_inlove
    ASL Info:    13, f
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 6/12/8
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 202
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 749



    Description:
       Please tell me what you think. i know its a little strange lol soo yeah id love your opinion!!!!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI trydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every night, day, morning
    I try
    I try to spread my wings
    fly through the open window
    into my feelings
    feelings of love, sadness, hatred
    feelings that i cant fight through
    feelings i cant express
    Through my heart i see
    i see who i would like to be
    and as if it was right there
    in the midth of air
    you crash
    into a 5000 piece puzzle
    exploding pieces thrash
    and ruin the work of art
    so your left feeling empty
    like you cant get to your dream
    and thats how i feel now
    the story of my life
    complicated and confusing
    doesnt make sence
    and no one to help me
    thats the story of my life




    Submitted on 2006-03-02 18:19:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a fantastic write
    When I saw how young you are I couldnt believe it
    Only 12 and already you have one of the secrets to a succesful life figured out
    The mind is powerful and you can create your own beautiful reality and live by it
    You are a very smart child with a clever mind
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Welcome to Elite Skills
    I hope this site brings you all the joy it has brought me
    Please if you have the time take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      in the midth of air
    you crash
    into a 5000 piece puzzle
    exploding pieces thrash
    and ruin the work of art

    Oh wow! Man that is a great passage! Such a good reference to puzzles, Although life to me is an 989899999 piece puzzle ;).

    As for the writing, I cant really say to much thats wrong with it, I love it when poems paint a picture, and this is no excpetion. I just dont like to use lower case on my "I".. aw well to each their own right! Nicely done!
    | Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Phobos | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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