Description: The truth is sometimes too hard to bear. Especially when it comes to a person you love. I wrote this while thinking. Is it better to be covered in lies just so you feel better, or to be surround by the truth, that your loved one is to leave you? It was my first try at a ryhming poem. I should have done something like abab. But oh well.
Come whisper in my ear
Tell me only what I want to hear
Let me know that you will always be here
I want to take away all your fears
Wipe away all your tears
But soon you will not be there
Veritas, the reason for all my pain
Reminding me that it's all in vain
The lies are only what keep me sane
Veritas, it's too hard to restrain
The dark lies try to heal the pain
Veritas, it is our refrain
great rythem to it! when i read it, it reminded me of some song i once heard. I agree with BreakAndFall, it does sound a little forced with rythm, maybe make it come out of who you really are more. If that makes sence. well Great job keep it up
just know one thing... i have never lied to you, nor will i EVER lie to you. Good poem tho. Deep thought and a good honest attempt at rhyming. I think you will find it easier if you dont try to rhyme so many lines all together. Try rhyming two lines at a time, like aa bb cc or something like that. its usually simplier and appears less forced. Also, I really liked the repetition of Veritas. It really had a great effect and it really emphasized your thoughts and emotions behind this poem. keep it up, you're getting better every time you write!