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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Empty Pagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    68/M/Sooke/ B.C./Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 138/106/35
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 936
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 340



    Description:
       A sort of analogy which attempts to show the fear in writing that some people have. It boils down to a fear of failure in which I may of amptly demonstrated by example.


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    dotsThe Empty Pagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Open,
    Barren
    Like a field of
    Freshly fallen snow,
    Yet threatening
    In a cruel papery way,
    Will my writing be good?
    Or just yellow doodles
    Like pissing men in winter
    Drunkenly weilding
    Their flaccid meaty pens
    To barely make
    Their name......





    Submitted on 2006-03-02 22:33:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I sure can relate to this one. Once, I could hardly write for 4 years, and I never felt so naked. Like the imagery here.
    | Posted on 2006-12-03 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      What can I say, Mugsy, you write good poetry. This hits home. Wish I had written it but its been a long time since I've lived in cold country and pissed my name in the snow. Thanks for the memory.
    | Posted on 2006-05-30 00:00:00 | by feather | [ Reply to This ]
      It was very different. It was kind of short but it was a good piece of work. Wondering what your writing is going to end up is something that can stress you but it seems like you just let the words flow and see what came out. I like how you used metaphors like their flaccid meaty pens. Good Job
    | Posted on 2006-03-18 00:00:00 | by nique | [ Reply to This ]
      Flaccid pens, indeed. I like satire to have sharp teeth. This poem works for me if you intended it to encourage its' readers to loosen up and take more risks in their own writing. Thanks for the well put thought.
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by Spare Change | [ Reply to This ]
      Captures what everyone wonders about their work at some point or another. Such a unique and beautiful way of expressing the purpose of writing, we all want to be known ... but we all write for reasons inside of ourselves just as much as the reasons beyond.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by CaptainRogers | [ Reply to This ]
      The Empty Page
    -------------------------------------------

    "Open,
    Barren
    Like a field of
    Freshly fallen snow,
    Yet threatening
    In a cruel papery way,
    Will my writing be good?
    Or just yellow doodles
    Like pissing men in winter
    Drunkenly weilding
    Their flaccid meaty pens
    To barely make
    Their name......"

    Once again I'd suggest discarding the caps and punctuation and allowing the strength of your theme to stand on its own (which it is no doubt capable of doing quite easily). You are an excellent writer able to express a great deal with a handful of well chosen words. Kudos to you, sir!

    Take care.
    Bill.


    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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