[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Chained to Freedomdots

    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 807

       Some of us have so much emotional weight (scars and wounds we don't even know the origin of) we carry around every day wanting nothing else but to break free from them, to breathe easy, to scream them away, to cry until they melt. I came across a meditation technique called vipassana which im really excited about. if u like you can get more info on it at www.dhamma.org after u read the poem.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChained to Freedomdots

    A barbwire ball spinning in my chest;
    An erratic desire to tame unrest;
    Red hot coal dribbling through my flesh;
    Muted screams of the oppressed;
    A world of irrelevance in my head;
    The visor of illusion shines blood red;
    In air this heavy have I lost myself?
    Darkness descends on my cry for help.

    Have I come here before in regret?
    I hoped it forever, last time I left.
    No hero, no winner, no story did rest,
    A minute in these dungeons so unblessed,
    To sentence the remains
    of Failure’s breath.

    Drops of rain on a dying leaf
    Breath unfolds an ancient key
    I listen hard for when it speaks
    It speaks from a land beyond the free

    Submitted on 2006-03-03 07:34:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Nice, nice, nice! Great irony and hypocrisy throughout the piece. I love the title.
    "Drops of rain on a dying leaf
    Breath unfolds an ancient key..."

    "No hero, no winner, no story did rest,"

    Wonderful description of how pointless and twisted 'society' has made life. Hope to read more from you. I'd apppreciate it if you read some of my works and told me your thoughts.
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by losing_focus | [ Reply to This ]
      this is extremely well written and I look forward to reading more of your work. Very powerful and sets the tone for the way society has become
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by CaptainRogers | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]