Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a simple viewdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: max
    ASL Info:    27 m tennessee
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 152/191/55
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 755
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 188



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa simple viewdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I feel my way through the universe,
    until I reach the grave, my resting place--
    let me grab hold of the things that last,
    and help me to let go of the those things.




    Submitted on 2006-03-03 13:04:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm with Graeme on this one. Although I love inspirational pieces, and this is one. You can not grab what you want if you hold on to garbage. This almost mirrors my page qoute when I think about it! lol. Wise words, even if the message was brief. Nice job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I take this write of speaking perfectly of be careful what you wish for
    People have to realize the mind is an extremely strong thing
    Once we put a thought into our mind it is trapped in our subconcious
    Even if we never think about it it will always be there
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm not bad at all, kind of the thing you'd read on a really inspirational poster or something like that.

    I'd suggest a different word to "feel" maybe something that shows how fast and furious and hard life is, as at the end of the line you replace grave with "reasting place" so it would be a nice lead up.

    Very well done, it says its message well in such a short piece.

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    93615

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry