Description: umm the format which i have this in is like 90% of the write to me, which can't possibly do on here as it has color, but if you are interested and have wordperfect then i'd be glad to send it to ya in the proper format
HER WINGS ARE BLACKENED but she -------------------------------------------
HER WINGS ARE BLACKENED but she FLEW AWAY MY broken LOVE inside a prayer
I’m dreaming of dreaming of being awake
I’m living for living a waking embrace
and I know that eventually this will hurt again my ghost of loveliness
haunt me I’m in love
It’s dying; from dying from crying for you
I’m lying; about lying in the safety of truth
and you know that it dies when it doesn’t hurt again the corpse of my desires
feeds the dancing fires
She taught me so many things with such a strong smile
and it was the things that made it impossible
the things that made her special
that killed her heart
in my dream
of loving
HER
I learned so many things and I feel like I’m strong enough now
and maybe we could find some sort of balance
and I’d promise never to hurt again
because I promised never again
I’d take the chance of
killing angels
WINGS
But I always forgot the moment I built up the courage to find
and I saw myself falling to both sides of the improbable
falling through irrational tangent spectrums
the whole time I fell down screaming
that I can’t scream loud enough
how beautiful you
ARE
So I stand by the break of day counting sunbeams in my hands
watching crashing waves of darkness fight each other
and the sands of time warm and sliding in my toes
but I stood to close to the dead waters edge
and the crashing waves drowned me
all my sunbeams are now
BLACKENED
But she always knew
just how to save it
clever turns of
heart and phrases
she always knows
how angels die
broken wings
in ether skies
Oh I Oh I
can’t make it right
she can’t fly
I can’t fight
torn with steel
bound in blood
devils cry in pain
they pray to above
looking to God
wondering “why
if we’re all loved
why can’t we just die”
I went so deep in hells creation
that the devil greeted with a grin
“Take a dive into darkness without hesitation
cry with the heartless in love with loathing their sins”
in a moment so small it fit in the eye of the needle in the calm of the storm
she stitched back up my heart with understanding, turning cold to feeling warm
I have fallen faster than the fastest of the falling stars and cosmic lullabies
I found golden starlight in the heavens for a price, we’ll call it compromise
and though from the outside it looks easy, I’m not able in my heart to decide
for I don’t know if such a place would keep sustained with the likes of my small mind for
Maybe made me fabricated
Baby make me imagination
taking her wings soar creation
fly so high
to desperation;
Playing “saved me”;
incarceration.
Crazy webbed wings
of contemplation
touch the sky of my
impatience
Dying
loving
was
so
broken
hearted
This isn’t
quite simply just merely;
An ode to amusement
To my dearest friend
inspiration’s a blessing
and I am inspired
to be
loved
!!!
!
kinda keeps climaxing, doesn't this POEM? I like the way the lines seem to cycle to me, the like each revolution speeds up and climbs a notch, then cirsles again sppeding up and climbing and then speeding up and snapping to a new llevel, hard to describe what I felt reading this...like each stanza flushes a bevy of quail, they rise and fly and settle again and rise and fly and settle and rise and climb and ***Blast***of a shotgun and down on broken angel wings to impact and flutter and die and then such wonder examining the warm pretty bodies, that no longer can lift to the air. This has a cold breeze running through the flames...powerful, graceful with ugliness lightly laced in...I like having to watch my reactions...makes me think and lose my own world for a moment...Kudos.
I'm not going to pretend to even begin to comprehend this piece in its entirity, but from what I can gather of it, it is amazing. The word play is a trick have used in the past, but never with such flawlessness. Great write
You had my full attention from the very first line. And coming from an adult ADD mind, that is a huge compliment. lol
This piece begins by whispering the cries of lost love, and slowly elevates to a scream again and again. The use of imagery here is unsurpassed, in my opinion, by any other I've seen on elite. You have captured all of life's lessons within the boundaries of a single poem. This is a beautiful piece of art and you should flaunt it.
this was really beautiful. I don’t know what else to say. I really liked it for many reasons. the image of sitting on the beach I think was the greatest part for me cause its such a lonely place to be with with darkness before for and not being in controle of any thing.
well you know... if the format makes this more powerful i will be COMPLETELY stunned... this is AMAZING boy... absolutely stunning... you also had me right from the first line...
i love the way you used the first few words later on in the poem... thats some brilliant work there (and musta taken a while to orchestrate that one...) i love the way the words roll off my tongue... the way they sound and bounce and seem to have a life and mind of their own... the way they seem to have been made to be together... i couldnt imagine the use of any other words...
seriously ryan... this is stunning... i have no words to say that will bring any justice to this piece... seriously stunning...
Submission Name: HER WINGS ARE BLACKENED but she
