Description: okay i need suggestions for the second verse..The rhyme scheme is all wrong..it should be ABABCCXCDD..but that didn't happen. I'd like to keep the first four and last two lines and just change the middle lines.
Any help at all would be appreciated...I've been looking at this for a couple of days with no good revision.
jan
I Woke up Beautiful -------------------------------------------
[Verse 1]
I was so surprised
first time I caught you starin'
by the look in your eyes
like you saw some magic here and
I wondered what you could see
to make you wanna be near me
Cuz when we speak
I know you really do hear me
I've changed my point of view
and it's all because of you
[Chorus]
One day I woke up beautiful
with never closin' my eyes
I woke up beautiful
and now I finally see
Your love has made me believe
I like who I can be
I woke up beautiful to me
[Verse 2]
I just can't believe
my luck on the day you found me
Sometimes still can't conceive
that you'd build your world around me
I wonder where I would be
if you hadn't found me
Made me believe in me
and colored the world around me
Now my outlooks all brand new
and it's all because of you
(Chorus)
[Bridge]
When I look in the mirror
I still don't see everything you see
but now these little imperfections
somehow, make me unique
'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
I know that I'm perfect for you
It's there in the way you look at me
In all you say and do
(and because of you)
(Chorus)
[outro]
one day I woke up beautiful to me
(with never closing my eyes) I woke up beautiful to me
(all because of you)
I woke up beautiful to me
I woke up beautiful
I really liked this, this thing “I woke up beautiful to me”. Love can really do that to a person. Maybe some punctuation would make it read better (lyrics, I know, but still…)
i think i already commented on this in a PM, but i really do like this. i like the title, first of all. the whole thing sounds so much like a country song to me! it's wonderful when we can see ourselves as someone else sees us, someone who loves us for who we are. it is not always easy to feel beautiful in this crazy world..
i don't know what to suggest for a revision because honestly i like it as it is! i wish i could hear the music!!
I loved it! Maybe because I could relate so much to this song. I could think of wyas to change it, for I saw nothing to change. I like this as is. This was so sweet, it made me think of Faith Hill or Trisha Yearwood. I think it was upbeat, romantic and truly a good song. I think you id just fine with this in my honest opinion...I hope you don't change it much, if you do edit this. Very good!
"I just couldn't believe my luck the day you found me Sometimes still can't conceive that you'd build your world around me I wonder where I would be if you hadn't noticed me Made me believe again and colored the world around me Now my outlook's all brand new and it's all because of you"
just a couple suggestions... hope that helps. it's pretty, not perfect yet, but I feel like this piece could turn out really great, especially if you do put it to music.
Submission Name: I Woke up Beautiful
