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Loose


Author: Indigo Kid
ASL Info:    33/f/everywhere
Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 428 /438 /115
Words: 147
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 976
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 831



Description:


Have been doing well, and attibute that to my BF who has been more then wonderful and I feel free in in my own skin for once in such a long time... I am happy


Loose




I am running nude through the field
with my bare feet enjoying every sensual
blade of grass that has been given to me
and grown by our mother whom we neglect.

The song grows intense in the air as the birds
praise the coming of the goddess who
sits on the golden throne with her
pink hues giving her surprise party away

The air is as pure as that before the year 1700
and I breathe it in and feel every molecule
heal me and make me whole and impregnate
my skin and my mind and I know all is good.

This feeling surrounds me, and it is you
and for the first time in so long I can feel
the goodness of life and the wellbeing of
my disastrous mind and I am loose.







Submitted on 2006-03-04 01:32:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  this makes me want to get outside, in the middle of nowhere, away from it all, and soak it in. ah how you captured my spirit. life is so stressful as we all revolve around material possessions. nature may very well be the only thing that can make us feel so "one". this was amazing, definitely a favorite. thank you.
take care
birdy
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very energetic and fun piece to read, thank you for posting it!

There are a couple things: You've set up the nude image in the first line, and therefore maybe don't need a barefoot image in the second, as it's implied.

'intense' in the first line of the second stanza is somewhat of a heavier word, and brought down the level of elation you were building.

In the third stanza, why 1700 in particular? would 18th century work as well, without the specific reference? I wanted to think there was something special about THAT year.

Really tight ending, where the wrapping feeling is the 'You."

Thanks for sharing!

Todd
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem really made me feel better about myself
It is so good to see someone else who can understand the beauty of the world and the beauty of all nature and how it truefully brings love
It is so sad that we are destroying gods greatest gift of all
Nature
I really really liked this
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem gives me this feeling of freedom and abandonment. I feel the sheer joy of such reprieve to be who I am and love it, as in each line you wrote. The images were just right and the wording was very good. The flow was not exact, but that added to the free feeling really. This was a wonderful to read.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this poem from the very first line, I always enjoy reading happy poetry.
The wording is nice because it's so imaginary. It was brief and I like that because I think poems like these don't have to be long. or people ll get bored. The last stanza was a good end.

Darth
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
  Love the title, and simply adore the poem. Loose. I wouldn't mind running nude through a field either.
It must be wonderful indeed to have someone who makes you feel this way.
Your description of everything was superb. And your happiness felt so profoundly that I just want to get up and dance after reading it. LOL.

Simply wonderful!

~Sandra
| Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]


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