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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: BitterSweet and Burningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Naymless
    ASL Info:    15/F/phx, az
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 142/110/33
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 794
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 965



    Description:
       Its basically about a couple in the military who fall in love, but because of an no fraternizing rule must leave. I got the idea from Full Metal Alchemist, if you watch the show you can basically tell who its about.

    I think I'll go to sleep now, in Phoenix its 3:09 A.M


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBitterSweet and Burningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lick the stains from the shattered glass,
    So we can walk away,
    Spread your words like fire,
    Burn away everything,

    But I’ll still smile,
    Just to push my tears back,
    Taking on last glance at the shooting stars,
    Remembering…
    That with them,
    I’ll always have a partner in death,

    As the impact becomes evident,
    You’ll come to see,
    The devastation that lies in the wake of beauty,
    Our betrayal kissed so sincerely,

    Oh, don’t you love my truth,
    The deadly whisper that only my lips can offer,
    As our memories catch on fire,
    We’ll sing to the glory of the life we once lost,

    So silence my choking heart,
    As our sincerity fill my lungs,
    No longer does this love stay tainted,
    We’ll be lost somewhere in divinity,

    The darkness consumes once more, and this fairy tale fades…




    Submitted on 2006-03-04 04:17:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very thought prevoking! I like what you have done with this write. I will read more of your poems if they are as good as this one? Well thanks again for the read!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really clever write
    I like how you structured this one so the words reallty carry there own rhythem
    Your last line was fabulous
    Great ending
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      wow I loved this one...I can't understand why you're not getting more commentz- I hate when ppl read and don't take the time to comment! lol anyway this was awesome...there was alot of emotoin and deep imagry...I don't watch FMA that much but I know the basic plot...anyway I have nothing bad to say about this one except maybe if you picked a ryhme scheme it might help if flow more loosly...anyway great write.
    jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


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