when I close my eyes -------------------------------------------
I'm looking to reproduce
and achieve the same responses
from my senses
of your kiss in others.
The yard with which I measure
the feelings that I treasure
have to reflect the mirror
of my memory.
I close my eyes,
only to find
to my dismay and
to my surprise
that my nose tingles with a scent
that is not yours.
I cannot close the doors
that let me go and grow to love
and find something new.
I cringe as I'm singed
with a memory
while I'm in his embrace.
ah, the memory of a love gone that still haunts you... that is a difficult place to be in, when you find yourself with someone else while still remembering. love is very powerful and the loss of it can stain us for a time.
i thought this was well-written and made your point clearly. i do wish for you that you can move on, or have already moved on, because there is always love to be found when those memories cease to ache you so.
First I would suggest fixing the typos. Lines two and three. responces and sences. The c should be an s in both of those responses and senses
Second I would suggest in line 15: 'I cant close the doors" Perhaps expanding it to cannot or can not. 'I can not close the doors" Just a difference of a syllable.
Though the poem gives a good idea of what you are trying to say. Being haunted by a love come to pass. If you read into it there is one part that doesn't seem to fit. The part about the doors: 'I cant close the doors that let me find something new. ' You wouldn't want to close those doors would you? Perhaps it is the doors that prevent you from finding something new as opposed to the ones that let you that you can not close?
I hope you found this helpful as opposed to condescending. Truly this was an enjoyable piece.