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A feeling


Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 83
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 646
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 534



Description:


idk really it was random.


A feeling



It's torture to my brain
torture to my mind
like when my parents whup my ass
torture to my behind

starts in the pits of my stomach
works it's way up
tearing out my insides
kinda like bad luck

like when i use to have nightmares
before i use to dream
it goes through my eyes
makes me wanna scream

what use to be so abstract
now seems really clear
A feeling that was so prolonged
now is really near




Submitted on 2006-03-04 16:41:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  this one was ok. so random. is it a good feelign or a bad feeling? ur pretty vague about this one. i liked the first stanza the most. i could just relate cuz i used to always get my ass beat. lol
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  At first when I read this poem I didn't really like it, but then as I continued to read, I found that I truly loved it. It seems to express things bluntly that people only want to hint at. Sounds like a song...if you play an instrutment, i would consider putting a tune to it.
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Scarlett Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a good piece..honest, blunt..serious manner..the first stanzas though don't go with the poem all that well..they just just have a different feel to them and different emotion set...any parent that abuses their kid is such a [censored].(pardon my language)..srry if your parents do that to you, my heart goes out to you honestly...anyhows i loved it..keep up the great work!
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the poem but it was mediocre...the first stanza didn't really go with the rest of the poem.The ending was well written with
A feeling that was so prolonged
Now is really near
maybe lose the "so" before prolonged
and exchange the" is really near"with
really is near, just to help the flow a little more.
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Jill Lynne | [ Reply to This ]


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