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    dots Submission Name: for the first timedots

    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 555
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1293

       any questions?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfor the first timedots

    I see a female with a fine tail
    I walk up to her, and sense the smell
    hypnotise, with dark thoughts
    and blood lurks, when night talks
    her hair, swaying in the wind
    her face, not touched by many men
    in fact, none, what can I say
    I pick a challenge, it's do or die today
    it's time, I walk up on her with fly attitude, confident
    I walk up and I spit my shit, but she ain't hearing it

    dumstruck, this abberated mind
    shot down for the first time
    I'm so attracted but I feel sick
    can't stop thinking about that chick

    I really don't know what to do
    confused, real sad, if love is true
    that's what is I hope, I aint talked to her though, I'll vote
    one thing I like about her, the ass and its shape
    another thing I like is the fat fact the she makes
    me feel like I've never felt before
    like I'm lucifer, returning home, and knocking on heavens door
    the third thing is that she smiles at all times
    and last is the way she look's at my rhymes
    thats four for on the good side, none on the bad
    I'd say if I got with her, I'd be happy and never mad

    Submitted on 2006-03-04 19:13:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was probly one of the best things i've ever seen u write. i liked the lucifer metaphor a lot. u seem to be pretty addicted to ass. i agree with single rose. i could see this whole thing playing itself out in my mind. good job
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
    To me this was like a mental movie, I could see the picture painted.
    "Her hair, swaying in the wind
    her face, not touched by many man"
    I like them two lines, simple, sweet and to the point.

    Overall, great poem!

    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]

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