I like it the way it is because love is really never done or complete and that is what your speaking about and also i like how you open your self up and also told how you got hurt simple honest and to the point dd
Potential, is the key word here. this can be better. But after reading this i was left feeling nothing. The beginning pulled a little at my heart strings. But the end cut short, it felt as though you were just writing to write. Work on it though. PinkFairy
Hmm..Doesn't seem too serious, but of course, love IS serious. Details: "I'm not sure how to tell you But I'm sure that I love you I know you were made for me" __the words 'you' and 'sure' are too close together. Sounds a bit repetitive. Possibly saying: 'I'm not sure how to explain my thoughts, Thinking that you were made for me Because I know I love you.'
But you've hurt me And you've scorned me And I'm tired of playing the same key __I like this stanza. Simple; to the point.
"You've wasted my time And I'm out of my mind To think you could ever love me" __explain why he's wasted your time, maybe?
I'm tired of this lie Love is all my heart can supply But it's up to you To take it __I think you could combine the last 2 lines together, cause it seems awkward having a 4-line stanza while the rest are three lines.
BTW: are you reading at the poetry slam next week?
Submission Name: I love You
