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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drug Breakoutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freak_like_me
    ASL Info:    20/female/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 120/118/49
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 555



    Description:
       im not really sure, mostly ta do with temptation i think lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrug Breakoutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Its all in the cell
    From one tiny organism
    She releases dopamine to endorphins
    Now the party hails drug breakout

    Its not a test of courage
    Yet one of temptation
    Why what an experience
    Something to talk about again..

    In the vain grasp of hope
    for ones wish
    of the organs, not to fail
    She will feel strongly sometimes
    About the pressure on the vein

    I say, we perhaps shout it
    But only for the psychedelics

    Drug breakout!




    Submitted on 2006-03-04 19:13:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's interesting, yeah. It's a poem about taking drugs, I guess? It's obvious it has something to do with drugs and the such, but I can't actually tell what. Is it a poem about the temptation and pressure of trying drugs, or maybe the curiosity of it? Or is it a poem about somebody who's been addicted to drugs for a really long time?

    It could go either way, if you think about it. Now you've got me thinking, which is actually something that poems and writing do very rarely nowadays.

    As for the actual structure of the writing, you could've made it a little neater, as in, you could've given it a more poetic flow than what it had. And maybe rhyming would help it out a little bit too, just to give it more of a poem feel than a journal entry feel.

    Either way, it's an okay piece, not bad really, but it could be improved upon.

    It was thought provoking though, so that's always good.

    -Adam
    | Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by Trifecta | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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