Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

distortions


Author: sickly
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 545 /537 /203
Words: 92
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1206
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 605



Description:


this is something that i wrote starting yesterday and finished today.if anyone reads and comments on this, i wrote and posted something yesterday, "a wanted man", that no one commented on and i really think that you should give it a read.anyway, i'll get back to you all very soon.


distortions



i forced myself into history
sorry to have taken so long
it must have been a bitch while i was gone
so come on and love it all
i sure know something
this is what's been prayed for
i'm a product of evolution
a risen son
a golden rose
a dropping tear
i loved you good
but you loved me not
graceless and fading
a wild horse
a secret from satan
somebody's crazy dream
for a one and only crazy night
borne upon the wind
going on 'til never
into the darkness




Submitted on 2006-03-04 21:46:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  thats kinda...idk...its great but a lil random...like the rymes u used were pretty good but i think like half way through u just kinda stoped ryming all together..what happend?
| Posted on 2006-03-04 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
  I dont think you have to rhyme all the way thru for it to be good. This WAS good. I love the line
a wild horse
a secret from satan
That is pretty. Keep up the good work, you've got skills
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by I_m not Broken | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



93795