Description: This is a poem I wrote just now...I found out the guy I love has a g/f..Anyways long story..Hope you like it
When Your In Love -------------------------------------------
I gave my heart to you
And you gave me yours too
But the day I found out
That you were her's
It tore
My heart is no longer whole
Why did I leap
So fucking far
Wait I know
It was because I knew
You were there by my side
To take this suicidal dive
But now we have
Other people to please
You have her
He has me
But I guess that's
What you do
When your madly in love
You have to cause
Pain and tears to
The one you love
Basically what I'm trying
To imply is that
You do stupid shit
When your in love
It didn't flow all the way through but i get what your saying. It was something that some people can relate to and others feel that they can relate to but can't because what the are going through and what was said in this are two different things. If that made sense lol. Anyways good job.
This was good I'm glad it was over 100 words at least the flow of the poem kinda went haywire at the end but it had a really good point and idea and I loved the phrase "Cause you are there by myside to take that suicidal dive" that's what I mean by using more descriptive words in your poems it adds this very emotional poetic wuality to them keep it up and try to once agian get a little more into the poem an averge of 150 words per poem is good but this was a good poem