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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When Your In Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Hip-Hop Honey
    ASL Info:    16/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 105/86/31
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 936
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 697



    Description:
       This is a poem I wrote just now...I found out the guy I love has a g/f..Anyways long story..Hope you like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen Your In Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I gave my heart to you
    And you gave me yours too
    But the day I found out
    That you were her's
    It tore
    My heart is no longer whole
    Why did I leap
    So fucking far
    Wait I know
    It was because I knew
    You were there by my side
    To take this suicidal dive
    But now we have
    Other people to please
    You have her
    He has me
    But I guess that's
    What you do
    When your madly in love
    You have to cause
    Pain and tears to
    The one you love
    Basically what I'm trying
    To imply is that
    You do stupid shit
    When your in love




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 01:18:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      It didn't flow all the way through but i get what your saying. It was something that some people can relate to and others feel that they can relate to but can't because what the are going through and what was said in this are two different things. If that made sense lol. Anyways good job.

    D
    | Posted on 2006-08-28 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good I'm glad it was over 100 words at least the flow of the poem kinda went haywire at the end but it had a really good point and idea and I loved the phrase "Cause you are there by myside to take that suicidal dive" that's what I mean by using more descriptive words in your poems it adds this very emotional poetic wuality to them keep it up and try to once agian get a little more into the poem an averge of 150 words per poem is good but this was a good poem

    =Logan=
    | Posted on 2006-03-13 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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