This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Anne


Author: adnil
Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514 /286 /57
Words: 200
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 2067
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1269



Description:


I had wanted to write this poem for more years then I can count,but each time I tried,it always seemed like I hadn't done her story enough justice
for thoughs who don't know its about Anne Frank
adnil


Anne



She had dark hair and eyes
That seemed ever so wise
A smile that lit up her face
With a kind of delicate grace
Her story simply began
And her name was Anne
She lived in her beloved Amsterdam
The invasion of war tore it to shams
Fear griped the very heart
As if it shattered apart
Just barely in her teens
Never had a chance at her dreams
Hiding in a annex fearing for her life
From the Gothic's butchers knife
She wanted to be a writer
Envisioning a time when things would be brighter
And she would know her first dance
Or experience love an romance
Only she was betrayed
Her life stilled with the raid
Carted off to Bergen-Belsen
A concentration camp
Full of horrors and cold an damp
Unlike anything the world had ever seen
Even to this day its hard to gleam
The holocaust and all its disgust
Anne died of hunger and typhus
Just fifteen when the angels called
An yet her stories heard by all
Hate and prejudice for a while ruled
It was a madmans tool
What happened to her and thousands more
Should never be forgotten nor the terrors of war




Submitted on 2006-03-05 02:12:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is simply brilliant. I love this. You made rhyme seem so easy here, its just ridiculous.
You are simply too good.

Anyways on to the issue of the poem, hmmm... I find the story it relays to be quite tragic and some that should have never happened yet nonetheless did. This was worth the years you said it took I simply look this. I don't seem to know this Anne Frank fellow though. If it isn't too much trouble could you tell me how this person is.

Another issue though this is very, very, very good there are a few minor spelling errors or what we like to call a typo. Just some ands that you left the d off from, other than that it just great.

I need to add this to me favourites list. Keep up the great work and have a most blessed day.
| Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a beautiful poem on such a terrible subject (War) but, I mean it is beautifully written. It is such a sad story though the way Anne lived and the way she left this world.

It seems to me that every time I turn on the Tv...there is War! And every time I turn on the radio I hear about war...everytime I pick up a newspapper I read about war! When is it all gonna end? when will people finally come to there senses? I think it will be after it is too late...
I think this was very well composed and will be a fine tribute to Anne's memory...
!doc'
| Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
  I was in the middle of leaving a commet for this and my electricity went out on me...a bad wind strom is going on. Sorry about that Linda.

This was just wonderful. I stand and clap for you for all thw ork you put into this poem. You brought more than justice to this poem based on Anne Frank, but you gave her life in in her death. You used the truth about her to form this and that's what makes this stands out. I would say two lines may need to be revised.

1.) the line about Anne's home being ruin, I thought you could shortend it to this. "The invasion of war tore it to shams."

2.) Instead of her life turned to Jade, try " Her life stilled with the raids."

3.)Just capitalize Anne when you use it in the poem.

You did a outstanding job. I'm rushing to make sure my electricity don't go out again! ha. Great Job Linda!

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Linda
This one is fantastic
I Thank You for sharing this important write so that others may know of Anne Franks true Plight
I too love how you incorporated important real facts into this write to get the message across more strongly
We as the Human Race must NEVER AGAIN let such an attrocity happen to such innocent people
God Bless
Your Friend
Ron
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Good write on Anne Frank
You managed to show her feelings very well, indirectly, through this poem.

Like Maggie said, I, too , like the way you have used true facts to create such a powerful write.

I think that these lines convey every thing about the conditions of the time beautifully

"Hate and prejudice for a while ruled
It was a madmans tool"

Thanks for sharing Linda
Abbas**
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
  I know this story well enough. It's part of my culture and every kid here knows her story. I knew they translated her diary in about 50 langiuages, but still I was surptised to see a poem about her on this site. I've also seen the Anne Frank house twice, and it's just so small and poor... I got this special feeling when I was there. which I can't really describe but i kind of felt cold, thinking about concentration capms and all those poor Jews who got killed. And all that in a lovely place like Amsterdam.
You've done her justice now.
With respect,

Darth Zeus
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very outstanding poem! Not many poets I know use real facts and make their poems about real people. This poem definatly does Anne Frank justice. She was such a wonderful person and I'm glad that theirs a poem out there that finnally shows that so well!
My Only suggestion would be to use a bit more colorful vocabulary to compliment the poem a bit more. For example: "Her story simply began
And her name was Anne" Seems a little flat. Apart from that this is a very well written poem! Continure writing!
-Jess
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Caiss Prejent | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



93820