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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Annedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: adnil
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 514/286/57
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1683
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1269



    Description:
       I had wanted to write this poem for more years then I can count,but each time I tried,it always seemed like I hadn't done her story enough justice
    for thoughs who don't know its about Anne Frank
    adnil


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnnedots
    -------------------------------------------


    She had dark hair and eyes
    That seemed ever so wise
    A smile that lit up her face
    With a kind of delicate grace
    Her story simply began
    And her name was Anne
    She lived in her beloved Amsterdam
    The invasion of war tore it to shams
    Fear griped the very heart
    As if it shattered apart
    Just barely in her teens
    Never had a chance at her dreams
    Hiding in a annex fearing for her life
    From the Gothic's butchers knife
    She wanted to be a writer
    Envisioning a time when things would be brighter
    And she would know her first dance
    Or experience love an romance
    Only she was betrayed
    Her life stilled with the raid
    Carted off to Bergen-Belsen
    A concentration camp
    Full of horrors and cold an damp
    Unlike anything the world had ever seen
    Even to this day its hard to gleam
    The holocaust and all its disgust
    Anne died of hunger and typhus
    Just fifteen when the angels called
    An yet her stories heard by all
    Hate and prejudice for a while ruled
    It was a madmans tool
    What happened to her and thousands more
    Should never be forgotten nor the terrors of war




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 02:12:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is simply brilliant. I love this. You made rhyme seem so easy here, its just ridiculous.
    You are simply too good.

    Anyways on to the issue of the poem, hmmm... I find the story it relays to be quite tragic and some that should have never happened yet nonetheless did. This was worth the years you said it took I simply look this. I don't seem to know this Anne Frank fellow though. If it isn't too much trouble could you tell me how this person is.

    Another issue though this is very, very, very good there are a few minor spelling errors or what we like to call a typo. Just some ands that you left the d off from, other than that it just great.

    I need to add this to me favourites list. Keep up the great work and have a most blessed day.
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful poem on such a terrible subject (War) but, I mean it is beautifully written. It is such a sad story though the way Anne lived and the way she left this world.

    It seems to me that every time I turn on the Tv...there is War! And every time I turn on the radio I hear about war...everytime I pick up a newspapper I read about war! When is it all gonna end? when will people finally come to there senses? I think it will be after it is too late...
    I think this was very well composed and will be a fine tribute to Anne's memory...
    !doc'
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I was in the middle of leaving a commet for this and my electricity went out on me...a bad wind strom is going on. Sorry about that Linda.

    This was just wonderful. I stand and clap for you for all thw ork you put into this poem. You brought more than justice to this poem based on Anne Frank, but you gave her life in in her death. You used the truth about her to form this and that's what makes this stands out. I would say two lines may need to be revised.

    1.) the line about Anne's home being ruin, I thought you could shortend it to this. "The invasion of war tore it to shams."

    2.) Instead of her life turned to Jade, try " Her life stilled with the raids."

    3.)Just capitalize Anne when you use it in the poem.

    You did a outstanding job. I'm rushing to make sure my electricity don't go out again! ha. Great Job Linda!

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Linda
    This one is fantastic
    I Thank You for sharing this important write so that others may know of Anne Franks true Plight
    I too love how you incorporated important real facts into this write to get the message across more strongly
    We as the Human Race must NEVER AGAIN let such an attrocity happen to such innocent people
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write on Anne Frank
    You managed to show her feelings very well, indirectly, through this poem.

    Like Maggie said, I, too , like the way you have used true facts to create such a powerful write.

    I think that these lines convey every thing about the conditions of the time beautifully

    "Hate and prejudice for a while ruled
    It was a madmans tool"

    Thanks for sharing Linda
    Abbas**
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      I know this story well enough. It's part of my culture and every kid here knows her story. I knew they translated her diary in about 50 langiuages, but still I was surptised to see a poem about her on this site. I've also seen the Anne Frank house twice, and it's just so small and poor... I got this special feeling when I was there. which I can't really describe but i kind of felt cold, thinking about concentration capms and all those poor Jews who got killed. And all that in a lovely place like Amsterdam.
    You've done her justice now.
    With respect,

    Darth Zeus
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very outstanding poem! Not many poets I know use real facts and make their poems about real people. This poem definatly does Anne Frank justice. She was such a wonderful person and I'm glad that theirs a poem out there that finnally shows that so well!
    My Only suggestion would be to use a bit more colorful vocabulary to compliment the poem a bit more. For example: "Her story simply began
    And her name was Anne" Seems a little flat. Apart from that this is a very well written poem! Continure writing!
    -Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Caiss Prejent | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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