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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Motherhooddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vonnie
    ASL Info:    32/F/MD
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 64/76/17
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 873
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 984



    Description:
       My attempt at showing love. Since my only weakness is my children, then what better subject could I find? I know it's not great, but it's from my heart.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMotherhooddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Love...what a strange word indeed
    Four letters can give you all you'll ever need
    A childs love is the sweetest purest form
    You fall in love with them the second they are born
    My children saved my life, they brought me back from the brink
    I knew when I saw them I could swim or I could sink
    I had someone to love, no matter what I did in my past
    I had true unconditional love at last
    I wanted to give them everything I never had
    A loving mom and a wonderful dad
    You can work everything out, down to the smallest detail
    Sometimes it doesn't matter, we are destined to fail
    My childrens father walked out of their life one day
    But my husband, he promises he will stay
    He doesn't care that biologically they don't belong to him
    In his heart is where he keeps them
    Love...what a strange word indeed
    Four letters can give you all you'll ever need




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 02:12:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is so true Vonnie
    And what a beautiful man your new husband seems to be
    May God Bless him for his kindness
    I am sure your children know they have the best friend in the world in there mother
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      LOVE ur poem!
    I saved it I love it even though I am a father! I wrote a father version hopefully its fine! It is more of a lighterside then yours which is beautiful! Its called...

    Fatherhood

    Fatherhood has its up and downs
    It has a smiley face & smiley frowns
    Dirty diapers at their worst
    And when they fall boy it hurts
    They do flips and jump on beds
    And bath times are what they dread
    They make a mess at dinnertime
    And walk away when you read a rhyme
    They run around and chase the pets
    And negotiate with candy big regrets
    When bedtime comes they refuse to sleep
    Playing peek-a-boo with the sheets
    They lay on your arm till it&#8217;s numb
    And make that noise you love that is dumb
    When morning comes you finally get some sleep
    Then a big smile awakens from out of the sheets
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      Vonnie,

    When it is important that the words rhyme, I think it is important that the meter or cadence of the poem flows smoothly.

    Dictionary dot com defines Meter as...

    The measured arrangement of words in poetry, as by accentual rhythm, syllabic quantity, or the number of syllables in a line.
    A particular arrangement of words in poetry, such as iambic pentameter, determined by the kind and number of metrical units in a line.
    The rhythmic pattern of a stanza, determined by the kind and number of lines.

    The first line of your poem has a beautiful meter, but the second line has a couple of words too many.

    Think of poetry as a dance with your partner...the reader. Some dances like a waltz are very metered and others are not. In a waltz, you and your partner know exactly where the other is going, so no one steps on the others toes.

    I would try something like...
    Love...what a strange word indeed,
    just a word...but all that you'll need.

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece!

    D
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      I do agree with you htat love for your children is the strongest feeling in the world to a mother or father. But in a perspective from someone who is a bystander and watches his roommates raise their children, it seems to me that children steal your soul. watching them have fun while you unsocially sit in your house and feel empty. now i know not all people feel like that, but most that ive seen.
    i dig the poem
    peace
    john
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by John Ratliff | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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