Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Faker's Plightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 874
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 676



    Description:
       the people pleaser, the approval addict, the rejection fearer, the broken homed, the needlessly guilty, the loser, the reject has a story too.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Faker's Plightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness and its shadow
    Trapped inside his mind
    An endless loop of code
    The shrink needs a shrink
    Needs a shrink needs a shrink

    He’s shrunk under the weight
    The cross only a feather
    Lost inside himself
    The dubbed screams only an outlet
    Into an outlet into an outlet

    The echo has even faded
    The fugitive is hiding
    He doesn’t know where
    Guilty of himself from the running
    And running and running

    Down his cheeks
    These molten drops of nothing
    Falling through the air
    Dripping and dripping
    Into an ocean of despair




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 07:54:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like how u used the word his and he to discribe the story and meaning i loved the part about dripping in to dispare that made me think of when i was really depressed and how i felt it loved this peice and it made me feel really sad but i loved it anyway

    -ps ...just wanna test if i can put images in
    and change text colors...this is random
    <img src="http://myspace-663.vo.llnwd.net/00536/36/68/536928663_s.jpg"><font color="red" size="3">hmm test test test</font>
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the flow of the words. and when u used the same words at the end of each verse-that was cool lol:) im a crap commenter i dont know what else 2 say 0_o check out my stuff eh? see ya elva
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by elva | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems to me that your subject is in a constant spiral of despair. one thing causes another and another and another and it just keep spiraling and spiiraling into the chaos that is himself. I dig this. especially the last stanza its almost like the guys imploding.
    peace
    john
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by John Ratliff | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has an excellent flow. I agree with elva the end transaction within each verse adds an extra spak that adds life to your poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    93828

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry