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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Faker's Plightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 934
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 676



    Description:
       the people pleaser, the approval addict, the rejection fearer, the broken homed, the needlessly guilty, the loser, the reject has a story too.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Faker's Plightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness and its shadow
    Trapped inside his mind
    An endless loop of code
    The shrink needs a shrink
    Needs a shrink needs a shrink

    He’s shrunk under the weight
    The cross only a feather
    Lost inside himself
    The dubbed screams only an outlet
    Into an outlet into an outlet

    The echo has even faded
    The fugitive is hiding
    He doesn’t know where
    Guilty of himself from the running
    And running and running

    Down his cheeks
    These molten drops of nothing
    Falling through the air
    Dripping and dripping
    Into an ocean of despair




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 07:54:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like how u used the word his and he to discribe the story and meaning i loved the part about dripping in to dispare that made me think of when i was really depressed and how i felt it loved this peice and it made me feel really sad but i loved it anyway

    -ps ...just wanna test if i can put images in
    and change text colors...this is random
    <img src="http://myspace-663.vo.llnwd.net/00536/36/68/536928663_s.jpg"><font color="red" size="3">hmm test test test</font>
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the flow of the words. and when u used the same words at the end of each verse-that was cool lol:) im a crap commenter i dont know what else 2 say 0_o check out my stuff eh? see ya elva
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by elva | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems to me that your subject is in a constant spiral of despair. one thing causes another and another and another and it just keep spiraling and spiiraling into the chaos that is himself. I dig this. especially the last stanza its almost like the guys imploding.
    peace
    john
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by John Ratliff | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has an excellent flow. I agree with elva the end transaction within each verse adds an extra spak that adds life to your poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]


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