[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Faker's Plightdots

    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 891
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 676

       the people pleaser, the approval addict, the rejection fearer, the broken homed, the needlessly guilty, the loser, the reject has a story too.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Faker's Plightdots

    Darkness and its shadow
    Trapped inside his mind
    An endless loop of code
    The shrink needs a shrink
    Needs a shrink needs a shrink

    He’s shrunk under the weight
    The cross only a feather
    Lost inside himself
    The dubbed screams only an outlet
    Into an outlet into an outlet

    The echo has even faded
    The fugitive is hiding
    He doesn’t know where
    Guilty of himself from the running
    And running and running

    Down his cheeks
    These molten drops of nothing
    Falling through the air
    Dripping and dripping
    Into an ocean of despair

    Submitted on 2006-03-05 07:54:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like how u used the word his and he to discribe the story and meaning i loved the part about dripping in to dispare that made me think of when i was really depressed and how i felt it loved this peice and it made me feel really sad but i loved it anyway

    -ps ...just wanna test if i can put images in
    and change text colors...this is random
    <img src="http://myspace-663.vo.llnwd.net/00536/36/68/536928663_s.jpg"><font color="red" size="3">hmm test test test</font>
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the flow of the words. and when u used the same words at the end of each verse-that was cool lol:) im a crap commenter i dont know what else 2 say 0_o check out my stuff eh? see ya elva
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by elva | [ Reply to This ]
      Seems to me that your subject is in a constant spiral of despair. one thing causes another and another and another and it just keep spiraling and spiiraling into the chaos that is himself. I dig this. especially the last stanza its almost like the guys imploding.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by John Ratliff | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem has an excellent flow. I agree with elva the end transaction within each verse adds an extra spak that adds life to your poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fasade written by jackz
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    AI written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]