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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Human Understanding?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chihuahuii
    ASL Info:    16/f/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 75/90/36
    Words: 304
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 233
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2201



    Description:
       Written on the train home, after attending the Youth Speaks Poetry Slam. I just really felt like writing after all that great poetry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHuman Understanding?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Whatever happened to
    Common courtesy of
    Man to fellow man,
    People wonder as stars
    Fall from the sky, surround their world
    With craters, cement their
    Lungs with poison plaster
    Pens in their hands and
    Blood on their souls
    They wonder, wander,
    Questioning the world of me and you
    With simple cliché quotes:
    What is love? what is trust?
    The meaning of life, the decision
    Of the pentacle of human understanding,
    Teasing and trying your patience
    As you push the need through the tiny yarns
    That manage your brain.
    A thread tears--
    What happens then?
    Keep pushing and the tapestry sighs,
    The safe neglected, homely,
    And all I can say is
    If you think you as a man
    Stand above the intelligence
    Of a black or a glock,
    Or an earthquake, a flood
    Of salty water 300 times
    More than you'll ever
    Hope to swim across,
    You've gotta lotta nerve, man.

    Nah. No nerve.
    All torn up
    From thinking too much
    And knowing too little
    And wanting to be spectacularly,
    Prodigiously..."Prodigal:
    A word invented by man, injected with
    An undeniable sense of importance,"
    And honor (which, by the way,
    Is also a figment of human imagination).
    Best you guard your throat,
    'Cause when the rawest art
    Of precious Words is denied its praise
    As a perfect product of God Himself,
    The world rejects the caster,
    Lopping off his head in the strangest of ways--
    In silence, God-inficted silence,
    Burning holes in your heart
    Which bears a crest of broken wings
    And quiet, sleeping,
    Scream-dream death.

    Deny the words,
    And who can save you?
    Who is there to tell you
    The meaning of love, life,
    Liberty, glowing philanthropy,
    Anemyty, destiny?
    Because once you lose your tongue,
    You lose your voice,
    And what good is a soundless record
    In this cold, loud party
    Called life?




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 13:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was written real well. I do think you had to much going on and not enough clarity as to why. It flowed in free verse...but it just was missing something...something that connected your toughts as one. Your word chose was good...but disjointed in some places. Overall, this was pretty good.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem that I personally think is very well written. The only thing I would suggest is that maybe you could seperate some of the stanzas into differnt poems because some of the paragraghs didn't seem to mact the overall subjuect that the poem started with.
    Very good write. Very true. It definatley shows the cruel reality of life. Keep writing!
    -Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Caiss Prejent | [ Reply to This ]



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