Lust by strike three

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Submission Name: Lust dots

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Author:	strike three
ASL Info:	26/m/ethiopia
Elite Ratio:	3.07 - 32/39/18
Words:	14

Class/Type:	Haiku/Misc
Total Views:	177
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	97

Description:

Lust

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contours desire softly will hot visions end
love sang fondle-y
rub my delicious end

Submitted on 2006-03-05 13:33:45 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  yes this does not strike me as a haiku they are 5-7-5 this is 12-4-6 but other wise interesting pretty good!
| Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Cullen32 | [ Reply to This ]
  I always thought that a haiku had the 5-7-5 syllable format. However, this is a great job. Also, this piece falls more under the senryu format. Because it deals with human elements. Anyway, who am I? Nice job.
| Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by Mr. Amateur | [ Reply to This ]
  hey!!i dont get da middle line its kinda weird!! um... i dont really feel it work on it a bit!
~akaila~
| Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
  lol well written piece.

but i always though the haiku structure was the 5-7-5 syllables thing...

unless this is another format...

nonetheless, it's well written.
| Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by Mud | [ Reply to This ]
  hey i think that your poem is short and to the point. It was good I like the fact that u said what u had to and made it slow well.
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by lost.within.you | [ Reply to This ]
  i dont get the middle line "love sang fondle-y" what does this mean mmmmm really dont kno about this one but i guess hey this yours and i dont mean to dis you i just dont get the middle part short simple and i guess cool ;)
| Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Darcey D | [ Reply to This ]
  Very short, middle line puzzles me as well, but its different and opens my eye to how far poetry gos. This is a nice write!

Singlerose:)
| Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]

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