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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: strike three
    ASL Info:    32/m/Ethiopia
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 49/54/28
    Words: 14
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 97



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    contours desire softly will hot visions end
    love sang fondle-y
    rub my delicious end




    Submitted on 2006-03-05 13:33:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yes this does not strike me as a haiku they are 5-7-5 this is 12-4-6 but other wise interesting pretty good!
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Cullen32 | [ Reply to This ]
      I always thought that a haiku had the 5-7-5 syllable format. However, this is a great job. Also, this piece falls more under the senryu format. Because it deals with human elements. Anyway, who am I? Nice job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by Mr. Amateur | [ Reply to This ]
      hey!!i dont get da middle line its kinda weird!! um... i dont really feel it work on it a bit!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      lol well written piece.

    but i always though the haiku structure was the 5-7-5 syllables thing...

    unless this is another format...

    nonetheless, it's well written.
    | Posted on 2006-03-06 00:00:00 | by Mud | [ Reply to This ]
      hey i think that your poem is short and to the point. It was good I like the fact that u said what u had to and made it slow well.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by lost.within.you | [ Reply to This ]
      i dont get the middle line "love sang fondle-y" what does this mean mmmmm really dont kno about this one but i guess hey this yours and i dont mean to dis you i just dont get the middle part short simple and i guess cool ;)
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by Darcey D | [ Reply to This ]
      Very short, middle line puzzles me as well, but its different and opens my eye to how far poetry gos. This is a nice write!

    Singlerose:)
    | Posted on 2006-03-08 00:00:00 | by SingleRose | [ Reply to This ]


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