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    dots Submission Name: Go Downdots

    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1251
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 969

       Written Feb. 2006/Updated 2007

    I just wrote this so it will be tinkered with I'm sure.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGo Downdots

    Wanna slide down my mountain.
    Rocky and steep.
    Yeah, slide down in my valley.
    Vast and green.
    Suffer in my suburbs.
    Quiet and cheap.
    Live in my high-rise.
    Fashionable and elite.
    Go down in my gutters.
    Dirty and depraved.
    If you really want to know me...
    You'll have to take this journey through my jungle.
    You'll have to go down deep.
    You'll have to...
    Stumble through my desert.
    Hot and barren.
    Still, you have only seen a small part of me.
    If your true you'll find it...
    The secret path which leads down to my sea.
    Clear and serene.
    Tired and thirsty...
    From me, you'll drink.
    Cool and sweet.
    Now dear, weary traveler,
    Now that it's my sheltered heart you near.
    You may lay upon my sacred beach,
    And rest your feet.

    Submitted on 2006-03-05 19:23:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i would have to agree with Mmr...the word baby just doesnt seem to fit...

    i like how you used different elements of earth to compare to yourself. it makes it kind of interesting...it sort of shows that there is a whole lot more than a lot of people realize to everyone. ya know? we are more than just appearances and personalities. there are deeper things. and you can think you know a person so well when in actuality you might not know them as well as you thought you did. and i think this is kind of what this poem shows.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm it was pretty cool...almost reminds me of one of my own called touching lust...

    it's a bit raw, which works really well considering what you're talking about. the only thing that i really could have done without is when you use the word Baby...it doesnt fit with the rest of it.
    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]

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