[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A horrible dreamdots

    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1234
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 315

       The first ever poem written in my life. This poem written during my 8th class was not so famous but the teacher did say that it was good and thats all that i needed.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA horrible dreamdots

    I had a dream, which I can never forget.
    Even now I remember yet.
    The king size bird ripping my liver and I couldn't say a word.
    I fought with it,
    I tried to kill it,
    But I didn't have any wit.
    I got up I was alive I seem,
    Oh! What a horrible dream.

    Submitted on 2006-03-05 23:22:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well at least your despiction has improved since this if it was so horrible wheres the horror behind it you you got to express yourself more and move on past your dream of a girl that doesnt exist. its good that you have your muse but your too obsess get out of your head and see the world around you. you live up to my qoute way too well. "Dreams are reality and reality is just a f***ed up nightmare
    | Posted on 2007-04-30 00:00:00 | by chaos_flame | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty straightforward and to the point. Rhythm, rhyme and flow in tune. All in all a good piece.

    And indeed a horrible dream, never had one of such caliber but from what you have written I have experienced dreams of more or less terror.

    Keep up the good work and have a good day.
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Every..... written by jackz
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Because of You written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    AI written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]